Wanted to do something about the layout of my bloggie. But I got lazy. And I didn't understand the codes. Sad!!!
And to think I daringly asked for an attachment on HTML, ASP, SQL, that sort of thing. Hope I dun die there.
Went for the interview today. At last! After my bugging the OPA at school, I got an answer from them. Was getting worried, because 14 Dec is the deadline and if I have got no interview, how can I have an attachment right? Mmmmm~
The interviewer told me roughly what stuffs I had to do if I do get the attachment. And it's like, WAH. A whole lot of stuffs. But he say it will be more on planning and implementing part...not so much the execution. Hmm...so I guess I don't really have to worry that much about codes and stuffs? But! I think I am expected to know, and so, if I really do get the attachment, I better go read up. Haha.
Okies. Anyway having gone for the interview, it's like a load of my mind. Quite sad leh, everyone ask me what company I got, and I tell everyone I have got no company. Like no one wants me like that. Boo hoo hoo~ And right now everything else is beyond my control. Heh~ If I get it, good. If not, I hope the OPA will find something else for me bah...
Anyway I realised I made Mr Clement sound like he was conspiring against me like that. I admit, I am having quite a bit of PMS these days. LoL~ So I tend to let my thoughts run wild. Even my friend cannot tahan me. Haha. Went out with another of my good friend yesterday, and she told me a whole lot of other things which I never knew before. Haha.
It's quite weird you know. I have 2 good friends whom I share about all these stuffs. One of them will be on my side and the other will be on Clement's side. Haha. The friend I went out with yesterday was on Clement's side. Heh~ So that's why, it's quite balance lar. While I am so blind to certain things, maybe having her around to remind me is just good.
Clement isn't THAT bad lar. Just not exactly what I have in mind. He can be a little too bo chup on a lot of things, especially on certain issues that matter to me. So I attribute it to him not being supportive enough lor. He is, in some sort of a way. With him, I have to freedom to do WHATEVER I want. If I tell him now I wanna run off to Tibet and live for 6 months, he will just say ok, go ahead! Like whatever I do doesn't concern him like that. And my telling him is machiam like sorting for his approval. He always say, "I say yes liao mah, what else you still want me to say?" Hmmm~ Be a little more supportive? Or at least show interest? Hmmm~
Ok lar. I dun really want to run off to Tibet and live for 6 months. But I really do want to be air stewardess. How! I can't join SIA leh, because I have moles on my face and hands. So irritating. SIA's criteria is kinda strict leh. So sad. So I have to join some other airlines bah... I think I shall go full force and look at it when I am nearing graduation bah....
Hm. Thinking about it, I sort of have an idea of what I want. I need someone who can complement me, support me, and most importantly, be always there for me. It's quite sad, because sometimes when I really need someone, my 1st thought will be him, and then subsequent thought will be thinking that it's of no use...because he can't help. He will just use his laid-back tone and tell me not to worry lar, everything will be ok lar, dunno why i worry so much. Sounds so demoralising until I often hesitate when I do face difficulties. No point lar. I tell him my problems and he's going to tell me all that. Sheesh~
Anyway, we both had a long serious talk last night (still with lots of nonsense -_- ) and we sort of laid out our expectations of each other. Like what we want in each other lor. Like what's his ideal and what's my ideal. That's because I find that, when I know what he wants, I can probably change myself to better suit him. Like my friend said, there's no way that he can change himself, it's either I change myself, or I make him realise that he has to change himself.
And don't mention about loving him the way he is, or him loving me the way I am. No point lar. We can try to accomodate, compromise, to suit each other, but then if the other party is oblivious to the accomodation and the compromising, you will just tire of it all de. That I know because I have seen it from another friend's failed relationship. Her guy just got tired of accomodating her...
And so we have now our expectations laid out, and we set a deadline for it. 3rd May 2005 shall be the day of our annual evaluation. It's our 2nd anniversary lar! LoL~ Just nice sia. And actually whether we will have our 2nd anniversary, also dunno. Judging by the way things are going, I am seriously quite worried about the coming months with him working and me working. It's like, a new set of problems are definitely going to come out of it. I can feel it liao...
Yup. This whole thing machiam like a project like that. Okay lar. It's our own relationship project. To try to build a better relationship. To try to be a better person for each other. To try to be accomodating and compromising in whatever way so that we can meet at the middle. That sort of thing. And I sort of made it in such a way that, if by this 2nd anniversary, things still doesn't work out, he's free to go with no obligations. I believe 2 years is enough to know whether a person is right for you, since we have have already let each other know of our expectations.
Initially I gave the time frame of 3 years, but then since mr clement suggested 2 years, so might as well. Haha. At least he knows he can't drag this any longer. LoL~
Quite glad, because we have everything out in the open. So this leaves the executing part bah. Despite all these problems and stuffs, we are still planning to go for our chalet on 17th and even go KL on 30th. He still insisted on going, because even though we have all these in between us, I am still his gf and so there isn't any reason not to go. :) He's quite sweet ah...
Maybe the chalet and the KL trip will help strengthen our relationship? I dunno. :) Just have to wait and see.
Cheers~
loving-on-Jesslyn
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 9:38 PM
