Am I lonely?
No lar. 34% only. Where got lonely right?
But why does it feel like I'm the only one in this world sometimes? Why does that person, who promises to be always there for me, go missing when I need that person most?
And why when that person, whom always tells me will be there for me, brings me such fear?
And why do I feel that fear when I hear that someone wants to be there for me?
I don't understand why I am feeling this way.
I have always thought that family is very important. I try to make them accept me. But ultimately, I can't accept them.
Like, what an irony right?
I have been doing so much to make them accept me. But it turns out that I can't accept them, the way they handle things, the way they do things, and, I dunno, the way that someone is handling it.
And I have this feeling to run, far far away where that someone can never find me. So that there will be no hurt for that someone. I can't hurt that someone, because that someone did nothing wrong. But I can't leave that someone and not hurt that someone at the same time.
What to do ???
I believe.
That marriages do not always work.
That being together doesn't mean forever.
Having a kid won't solve problems.
That love doesn't conquer all.
That money doesn't make the world go round.
That screwed-up people exists whether you like it or not.
That hypocrites are running amok all over.
That words only weigh their worth in the right situation.
That love is not everything.
That being married doesn't cancel out the insecurity.
That I have a bad brain for recording all things bad and horrible.
That I cannot forgive and forget easily...or ever.
That I am such a mean and unforgiving person.
That I am just being so screwed up myself.
Just being cynical.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 7:15 PM
