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Monday, October 31, 2005

Ambiguity

Feeling a sense of deja vu here...

It seems that every time exams comes around, I feel the same old stuffs all over again.

Too bad, no way to block it out. Sometimes I let it overwhelms me, other times I try to ignore its mere existence.

Are women so much more vulnerable than men?

Are men so much more emotionally stronger?

Can someone teach a person how to be emotionally strong?

Seems like I never learnt my lesson after all these years. Sheesh~

Feeling so much, but refusing to let it out. Afraid to get hurt, to be stripped bare once more. And for that once more, vulnerable another time. Once bitten, always shy.

Blocking and ignoring this is not a means to an end. It's just a mere fantasy which will disappear one day.

Refusing to acknowledge its existence is going to wreck its havoc one day too.

Gee...it's hard to decide isn't it?

Took 2 damn long years to get to what it is now. Will it need to take another 2 long years to go back to what it was?

I seriously don't know.

Will it be easier to start afresh with someone else new?

Yet, after all that ups, downs and the hurt, it ain't easy to walk away...

It's just so easy to stay on and give it another chance.

But after countless chances, it will drain out all patience and efforts too...

Apatheticism.

Waiting for the higher being up there to show me the light. Haha.

我曾经爱上一个不能完全爱我的人。
走着两条无法相插的路,好辛苦。

当他终于能够爱我的时候, 已经太迟了。
我再也不是个单纯的小女生了。

那个相信单纯的爱的我,已经不再相信了。
那个相信天长地久的我,也不再相信了。
现在, 若是曾经拥有,也足够了。

我是个被爱的女人,自己却不懂怎么去爱了。

真的好悲。


Stunningly Gorgeous Y 11:11 AM