Sometimes I wonder why must everything happen in this manner...why bring me up there into the high skies and the clouds and then leave me to fall splatter-smatter alone. That kind of feeling sucks, really. Although I can always psycho myself out of everything (I have been great doing that) but I know that as long as the problem remains, no amount of psycho-ing can chase the problem away. And this is not a problem that can disappear on its own. So I am trying to be more positive and happy now, and learn to see both sides of the coin and understand from all parties' point of views, but it isn't working really fine. I still get bouts of depression like this. :) But I know that after I have finish indulging in my reverie, I still have to face the world. Things to study, work to do...things like that. Been packing my things lately, I don't know why. I am suddenly keen on packing...probably like trying to pack my life away. Or maybe make things easier for people who have to pack my things when I'm not around...I don't know. I have a quiz next Tuesday and I am really worried...I don't know if I can do it well this time round...I know I ought to be mugging hard but somehow the mind is willing the heart is nowhere to be found. I gotta get a grip but I don't know what am I going to grip. Grip on myself? Grip on others? If it's myself, I am really dumbfounded, because I don't know what can I grip on... On others? Not possible because I don't want to rely on other people...I feel more vulnerable than ever lately and I don't enjoy that. So now I am still confused on what am I supposed to grip... Another meaningful passage, before I go...If you're not married yet, share this with a friend.
If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples..and reflect on it.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet pee ves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you.
You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individuals who have decided to share a life together. Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong? Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message on their voicemail or send a nice email. Sharing common goals and interests.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.
Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
"Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think." The grass withers, the flowers fades, but the word of God stands forever.
Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight? Always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary.
The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the "i".
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
I am touched by this little passage. Probably because it came at a time whereby things are not so good. Cup or Water?
A group of working adults got together to visit their University lecturer. The lecturer was happy to see them. Conversation soon turned into complaints about the stress at work and life.
The lecturer just smiled and went to the kitchen to get an assortment of cups. Some porcelain, some in plastic, some in glass, some plain looking and some looked rather expensive and exquisite.
The lecturer offered his former students the cups to get drinks for themselves. When all had a cup in hand with water, the lecturer spoke:
"If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal that you want only the best for yourselves, that really is the source of your problems and stress. What all you wanted was water, not the cup, but we subconsciously went for the better cups."
"Just like in life, if Life is Water, then the jobs, money and position in society are the Cups. They are just tools to hold and maintain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. If we concentrate on just the Cup, we won't have time to enjoy the Water in it! "
Food for Thought
- Are we getting so caught up with the 'Cups' in our life that we've become slaves to it?
- What's the point in having the best looking and most expensive 'Cups' if we don't live meaningful lives and touch the hearts of the people around us?
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 3:01 PM
