It's funny how we women tend to seek answers, while men tend to run away from answers. Labels: contemplatives
I guess we are wired this way, sometimes we need to know the answers to draw a conclusion for ourselves and move on. Although this may not be true for all ladies out there, but it is true for me at least.
Just the other day a good friend was talking about how dispensable we people are. Like, somehow we never made a mark important enough in others' lives to warrant us indispensable. It sounds a wee tad egoistical here, but to think of it, maybe all we need is someone who can treasure and cherish us, just like how we treasure and cherish them.
So how dispensable I really am?
What will people do if I die one day? I think the only people who will really be sad is my mommy and daddy. I just realise how much I mean to them the other day...it was quite touching to realise the fact that my parents, in their own quiet way, has always been supportive whatever I have done. And how much my presence mean to them, even though it is just physical presence. Nothing beats family love, truly.
At least I know that I am indispensable in my parents' lives. I am supposed to be their joy and their pride...no matter how screwed I am, and this is always the reason I tell myself when things get too tough to handle...I must survive for the sake of my papa and mama...to support them till old age...and so this give me the will and reason to continue on...
I don't know how much of an impact I have made to my friends, but I think in the course of the years, people just drift in and drift out of one anothers' lives, I am no different...and as we all become older, we have more things to do, work, boyfriends/girlfriends, family...and then friends get neglected in the end.
Maybe if I am gone, friends will be sad, some might even tear a bit, but after it all, life goes on. No one is exactly indispensable in other peoples' lives, no matter how important we make them up to be. Maybe that is why, I don't feel that I have a need to hold on to every little friendship I can get...don't get this wrong, doesn't mean that I don't treasure friendship a lot, but I just don't think it necessary to impose myself on others when others does not want to be imposed on.
Actually having a few really good friends is enough...I am quite blessed that I have found them. :)
One last thing. Boyfriends are not included. Practically because breakups happen, and because they do, of course we are dispensable. Like you know, for 1 or 2 years, you are both happy with each other, so you stick together, and then after that, it is time to seek greener pastures. And so off they go. No regrets.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 3:31 PM
