I remembered being asked this question way back when I was 18. Was chatting with my colleagues then, and it's 2 versus 1. So it was 2 for bread and 1 for love.
All of us had have our experiences being in love, and depending on the varying degrees of encounters with love we've had, thus came our conclusions.
There was her, who was unceremoniously dumped by the ex-boyfriend for another girl, and there was another her, with a near-perfect ex-boyfriend whose biggest fault was his possessiveness.
There was me, who then had many crushes left and right, but never found love. And love to me then was depicted in television dramas in the form of Meteor Garden.
I think at that time everyone was crazy over that drama serial, well, at least everyone around me. Well, 1 of that 4 guys became the benchmark for the dream guy, of whom I came to discover, actually existed. :)
So why did I choose bread? My idea was rather simple. Love makes the world go round, so does money. Right then I thought love was just ideal, if I found love, good for me. If I did not, I would not fret about it too. Probably because I was still young, fresh out of school, and not having encountered love made me treat it like a really small matter.
So at that time, I thought if I were to settle down with someone, he has to be someone whom we can live comfortably together, with little luxuries here and there, and I will be contented. Love then, was not the equation. It was considered optional in my case, and my arrangement seemed as ideal as it could be.
Of course I did not consider the life of a married couple, but of course, bed matters were not part of the considering factor then, I never thought of how it would be like to sleep with someone whom you have no feelings for.
I was kinda naive then.
Fast forward to 2006. After being 1/2 of a couple and experiencing things which I have never thought of before, I am beginning to realise why that colleague of mine chose Love over bread. Back then, she told me in life, it's really hard to find someone whom you can share everything with, and someone who can fall in love with you just like you fall in love with him.
Back then, all I thought was, love was just an extra-curricular activity; like when I am day-dreaming I can think of how wonderful this guy is and how good looking he is and how I find the way he carries himself which interests me so much and then the list goes on. I never really thought of whether I am going to be his girlfriend or not. I was happy admiring him from afar and thus my many many crushes left and right.
Presently however, I am finally seeing the light in that ex-colleauge's words. She's right in a sense, because I realised that for two members of the opposite sex to click, there must be some common point, somewhere. And from the common point, can the relationship grow into something more intimate, something which we can call Love.
So idealistic right? But so true. And it is not easy to grow a relationship, apart from the common point factor. There is a lot of give and take, compromises, communication, to be done before the relationship grows. And that is why I feel that quarrels are necessary between couples, because through this we are given a chance to understand each other's feelings and thoughts which we would have otherwise witheld.
Things can only get better, because after a quarrel there will be ample communication and hence the chance to make amends and explain each others' actions. I personally think that it is a good chance to thrash things out. And after this whole issue, it will seem like the relationship has levelled-up and then everything is all bright and rosy. But of course if everything ends on a good note and both parties have got their thorns out. :)
Which is why I think the ex-colleague's words are so true. She, who had loved, lost and found love again, had the most experience. And she did say that with the right love, she could be contented. I think I am more similar to her than I had known at that time.
Suddenly I realised that m0ney can never finish buying the things I want in life. Money can buy me the most luxurious goods, but there will always be more and more in the market, of which I can never finish buying. And buying things may give me instant gratification, but after that I was never really interested in what I had bought. I do not feel contented whatsoever, just plain neutral or even irritation because I have got an awful lot of stuffs which I have to pack now (and I hate packing).
Hence I now believe that love will be something different. If you can find someone who can share everything with you, goals, morals, future and all, and whom you can share all the abovementioned with, learn to cherish him/her. That's all I can say. Whether the two of you will walk down the aisle in the future is yet unknown, but having the same goals and planning a future together is always a good start.
I think I am being idealistic about love this time, but I know this are the actual fundamentals for a relationship, and more importantly marriage. It is not about money, not about families, not about age, not about academic qualifications. And for me, it is a personal to-be-fulfilled goal: To be able to be with someone who knows all my flaws, and yet accept me the way I am, someone who thinks I am important enough in his life to want to plan his future with me, someone who wants to love me and cherish me for who I am and someone whom I can reciprocate all the above-mentioned to wholeheartedly.
Sounds like I am desperate to get married huh? However, marriage is not on the cards between me and Clement, let me clarify that to a particular "Prez". So stop telling people I am going to be married off soon ok. :)
But I believe marriage is another form of "level-up" for a relationship. Hee.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 1:12 AM
