Sometimes I wonder why people become cynical over the years. And I realise it's because life's experiences that shape your thinking. I believe everyone started out innocent, naive, full of hope, and all things are rosy, you know, just being plain positive over everything. Labels: rants, relationships
Once, I was like that too. I was positive almost on everything (except when it comes to academic matters...ha ha), and I often believe in the best of people, that everyone is nice, and no one is purposely being not-nice. Haha.
Even when it comes to love life, I just wondered one day who would be that knight in shining armour coming to sweep me off my feet and then we will get married and live happily ever after.
Of course, I am so absolutely wrong. There's no knight in any kind of armour, and there's no such thing as sweeping me off my two little feet (last I checked, was still rooted to the ground). The only thing that's quite true (or come close to) is that people will get married. Not even that live happily ever after part. Ha ha
That looks kind of bleak isn't it? But that's the way life is I guess. Just like how people say that love can conquer everything, but it doesn't mean literally everything you know. There's why there are songs like "Sometimes, Love Just Ain't Enough". This kind of songs are written precisely because they hit the nail on the head!
I guess it has come to a point that I don't really know what to believe anymore. So much that I doubt everything I come across, or hear, especially when it comes from guys. Heh. I admit that I am a bit sexist here, but then again, I really don't know whether to trust or not, so I trust my own instincts. And since my own instincts causes me to doubt people, so I just go ahead and follow my own instincts then!
It's like once upon a time you believed in love, you believed that love conquers all, yada yada, all that bullshit stuffs, but then one fine day something comes along and proves you totally wrong, so you decided that from now onwards there's no need to revert back to believing in it, because obviously it's gonna be wrong, so why for waste anymore time? Which is why today the bestie told me about some stuffs, like how because you love someone, you accept everything in his life, from himself to his family, to his friends.
Hmm...I don't know whether I have such a big heart. But I know I am practical. So if anything comes along which I don't like it, I will voice it out. I am direct in this case. I will want my partner to do something about it. If he doesn't, I will just feel uncomfortable with it. I may even nag at him. This kind of girls, guys don't like. That's because guys have got their own egos to feed. They don't like it that they have to listen to their girls. Which is fine by me, if he knows what to do and when to draw the line. But if he doesn't I would feel a need to butt in. I cannot stand just watching from the sidelines and not doing anything. I am the kind that need to kaypoh my way through. This is the flaw in my character.
Of course you would expect that being in a relationship, it's best to maintain an open policy. However sometimes we just feel that it is necessary to tell a little white lie so that the other party will not feel so ill at ease. So what? When the white lie is finally made in the open and the other party learns about it, he/she will still feel ill at ease. This time it will be worse, because it also constitutes a mis-trust on each other's part. So how are you going to clear up the mess?
Heard of some case whereby the boy proposed to the girl, and the girl accepted. But after the whole proposal thing, boy realises that girl has a wild side and that even when they were together, the girl often stayed over at other guys' places. Boy feels so uncomfortable and so unable to accept it, girl feels that it's already in the past and she didn't wanted to tell him because she's scared he would worry. So how? Are they going to get married? Or not? When you start a marriage with a bundle of untold truths, it is going to be a long road to be happily and blissfully married.
Alright, so what's with the cynicism? I just feel that I can no longer trust as much as I did in the past. I am feeling kinda surprised by myself, because in the past I was this kind of person who believed in love and all that stuffs. Now, my certain reactions to certain events/scenarios have led me to feel like I don't believe in love (that much), and I don't believe that love can conquer all. And I think when it comes down to me, practicality and being level-headed are the qualities that will actually put me off from believing in love anymore.
You know, once bitten twice shy? For me I might have just sworn off this whole stuff about love. :)
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 1:09 AM
