Wow, I realised that I really really haven't been logging in for a long long time. Labels: my life, relationships, weddingBeen busy busy!! Jet-setting to and from Europe isn't my cup of tea...add in cold winters, jet-lag, basically it's just a disaster in the making! Anyway I finally made back in 1 piece after that last biz trip in Jan 2010. And I hope I never have to make another trip for biz again. Can I just go on a nice holiday instead? :pThat aside, plenty has been happening! The wedding's set, the venue's set...and our pre-wedding shoot is set too! It's gonna be set (pun intended!) in the nostalgic little city of Ho Chih Min. One may wonder why...well, we decided not to go Hong Kong / Taiwan as everyone else we know is going there, but places like Melbourne, Paris and Greece is too expensive for us! And Vietnam was occupied for a while by the French...well, I hope we can gain a bit of the French feel here.I hope the shoot turns up good!!!We will be jetting off to Saigon (aka Ho Chih Min) on the 25th March 2010 and coming back on the 28th March. On SQ, no less! Thanks to my jet-setting-around-Europe stint, I have more miles than bucks. Haha! It's going to be 4D3N, 1D for the shoot, and basically rest of the time will be for us to explore around the city. I think it will be an eye-opening experience, after that trip to India in 2007. :)Pretty excited now! Gowns are confirmed, now I'm just troubling myself over the casual shoots. What should I wear? Tee-3 quarts? Little beach dress? Hmm...add that to my figure, or the lack of, I'm really at a loss! Sigh...serves me right for not resisting yummy food when they turn up. Haha...but hey, how can anyone resisit an Awfully Chocolate chocolate cake right? It's almost a sin not to eat it. Ok. I'm just consoling myself here. Here are some wedding details...Date: 7 November 2010, SundayVenue: Singapore Marriott HotelBridal Studio: The Aisle Bridal BoutiquePhotographer: Live!StudiosJiemeis aka Bridesmaids: All my JC babes!Er...that's all I can think of. Basically I think this is what we have booked so far...I must admit that we have been pretty slack with the wedding preps, because I have been jetting around and he has been slacking! Heehee! But nevermind, now I'm slowly getting into the planning mood. Hopefully we can do a small-short-sweet wedding...I'm not for grand banquets anyway. We'll see how!!Next to do......and many many other stuffs which I just don't want to think about now.Now I'm a sea of calm, because I still think I have plenty of time (based on Facebook countdown, I still have 240 days to go! Weee!) But there's always calm before the storm, I'll try to make it a mini storm in this case. Hehe.Could I be another bridezilla in the making...? We'll wait and see...
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 10:23 AM
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It's quite funny, sometimes once in a while I will get a bit nostalgic and then think of all the past stuff that happened. The boy is right about me...I always like to remember the past and especially, the unpleasant unhappy past. Labels: dreams, my life, rants, relationships
This has been pretty difficult for him because he always have to bear the brunt of all my wonderful memory of unpleasantries. Best of all is that I tend to remind him, time and again. And especially whenI'm not happy with him I will definitely remind him. This is not healthy, but I have been trying to control so much already but still to no avail. It has decreased a lot but still, I tend to remind him time and again.
Sometimes I wonder why am I such a person. I feel like I'm this totally horrid person when I'm around him. Which sucks, because I don't want to be a horrible person. I want to have a nice, happy relationship, I want to feel happy about being together with him and I want to feel happy about our future together. However everytime I want to do that, something will always hold me back. Like I want to appreciate him for being so sweet, then the "evil" part of me will step in and say, "he should be doing that! He let you down so badly in the past". So on and so forth.
And sometimes I feel totally negative about getting hitched. Like why he didn't want to get hitched earlier. Why he want to wait until so old. Why he didn't spare more thought for my feelings when he said all those hurtful words. Why why why? I also have no idea.
Anyway I have been through all these with him many many times, I think he should be hurt until numbed or something. I feel like the "evil" part of me is doing her utmost best to hurt him back, just like the way how he hurt me in the past.
I'm this kind of dilemma-ish until I also cannot tahan myself. -_-!!
Being in a relationship should be bringing out the best in both of you right? However I feel like I'm at my very worst when I am with him. Grrrr. How ah. How to change that cynical part of me into non-cynical again?!
Even like this evening while I was on the bus home and I was feeling totally negative, like being in a relationship for so long then no point getting hitched, because everything is still the same right? Anyway I have always felt that an ideal time to settle down is after being bfgf for 3 years. I think 3 years is the magic time line la. Anything more than that is too long. Anything less is too short. So I have always held this 3 year deadline in high regard.
Anyway to make the long story short, the 3 year mark came and I was still stuck in the relationship with no result. Ask him, he also cannot give me any answer. That marked the most frustrating period and really down period of my life.
And he did that not once, but twice to me.
2nd time round I was almost ready to leave. Almost. If not for the fact that we got to attend a friend's wedding together, I would have probably left him there and then.
Anyway I always felt like being taken for a ride. Which makes it very frustrating.
Fast forward to 2008. We actually managed to successfully ballot for the house. Which is a good thing if we are happy in love. But we were not.
Or to say, I am not.
I don't know when I ever will be. Always felt like he's been taking his own sweet time in regards to matters like this. If I never go and "blow" him, he probably won't bother with anything at all. -_-!!!
And I always feel like what's keeping us together is just the house and nothing more. It's scary to think like that because now the house has become our focal point of staying together, rather than the fact that we are in love, we understand each other and we want to be together.
He doesn't understand why I am still so negative, in fact he feels like he has done a lot for me, for this relationship. But I think he doesn't know what I truly want. I want him to come to me on his own accord, to actually show that he did give some thought into everything. I feel like now I'm still the controller, doing stuff...hinting him on...guiding him on.
I'm so tired of it all. And sometimes I just wonder if it's okay if I just give it up. I don't wish to battle within myself anymore. That feeling sucks. And everytime I look at him I really don't know what to do. I have the angel and the devil fighting inside me. And I am irritated by the fights going on until I just want to ignore them.
I think the problem arose because we were both heading in different directions. I looked upon the relationship as a means to an end. He looked at the relationship not to have an end. Just a mean. Maybe in the first place we both had our problems but were oblivious to it.
I know he will be a good husband, because he's already a very good boyfriend. I just need to get over this mental block of mine. I don't know how am I going to because the devil inside me is stick-in-the-mud and refusing to let the angel reason.
And here I am, still fighting a huge fight within myself. Which he cannot understand. He probably just think that I'm the one who insist on dwelling on it (which is not), and he has already given up trying to fight that devil. But I need his help badly...if only he knew. :(
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 8:32 PM
Yikes! I think I have gained a lot of weight recently, especially ever since I started working. It's on a steady growth...and it is super gross. I think in no time I will hit 60kg soon la... :( Labels: marriage, my life, relationships
Anyway, I plan to lose weight!!! I shall engage all forms of remedies known to man. That includes exercising I guess, if I have the mood. Hahaha. But for now I'm relying on green tea to increase my metabolism and cutting down on morning/afternoon snacks. Today, my Malay colleagues brought a lot of goodies from their Hari Raya!! Omg I ate a lot even though I claim to "pu zhua" (heatiness) and try to avoid all offers.
In the end I succumbed to 3 very cute butter cookies and a pineapple tart!
I've been wanting to blog for quite some time, but never really found the time for it. Like everytime I come across something, I will think that I am going to blog about it, but then after a while I forget already. So this will continue on until one fine day (like today) I'm home early and in front of the computer, and suddenly have a thought to write some gibberish down.
And so today we went out for lunch to treat a colleague whose last day of work is today. It suddenly then hit me that I have been with this company for more than a year, seen so many people come and go, but I'm still at the same place, haven't moved at all. Another colleague of mine also left last month, and I was quite sad because I really like him and respect the way he works, it's hard to find people who are responsible, swift-acting and nice to chit-chat with.
Indeed, sometimes colleagues are really just colleagues, it's better to draw the line there and not try to be friends, because as friends there are just too many things you gotta give and take. It's easier to be "mean" when they just remain as colleagues, if you know what I mean.
Work is depressing these days. I am also depressed. Oh, change that. I'm on sudden highs these days. Like 1 day I'm so inspired to work and I feel like I can put in more than the 100%, and then there are days whereby everything just seems to move so so slowly including my own pace of work. And then there are days I'm just physically there but not mentally prepared to face all the "nonsense" that is the daily output from "work".
Sometimes I thought of going back to study, like get a Master's or something. Thinking about it, it's quite tough because of the money issue. If I'm going to get married then probably need to save up for that. I'm still paying my uni debts as well, so it's going to take some time before I can even think about studying.
I'm still harbouring thoughts of changing industry if I get the chance!!
Nowadays, I'm spending more time with the boy, I guess it's because we work relatively near each other and meeting up is far more convenient. However, something is different. I cannot pinpoint it, but then, it feels that our relationship is no longer the same.
I did broach the idea of getting hitched earlier, like next year, and he was rather keen. But then again after weighing all the pros and cons, and the cons outweigh the pros, so the hitching idea was put on back burner. I think it is for the best, because in this current state and mentality of mine, I'm totally not ready in getting hitched.
I even suggested to him that we should just hold our wedding in a foodcourt...everyone can choose what they like to eat. Haha. Since wedding dinners are always overpriced, food not spectacular, so why not. And it's definitely within budget. Heh.
Anyway, just talk for fun. The wedding's not gonna materialise in the near future. So we have all the time in the world to plan for a budgetary wedding. Hahaha. Just like me, I like everything simple, short and sweet. Minus the sweet, still got simple and short. Aiya...good enough also. Hahaha. I am the "sweet" lor.
By the way, the Pinnacle@duxton is up for grabs!!! But oh dear, whoever buys the flat will really pay through their noses for the installment...monthly repayment for a 450k flat is no joke. It will really cost you 1-2k even on a 30 years loan. So it's gonna be tough man!!!
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 9:56 PM
I have always been wondering what can I do with the label-thing on my blog. Like catagorize it or something right? Then I realised that to do that I must change the template into the new layouts kind, which contains what we call 'widgets'. Labels: rants, relationships
All is good, but I don't like to be stucked with the default template, and I tried tweaking it a bit. Guess what, it became a battle with blogger with its never-ending reminders of how my xml need some proper closing/ending/whatsoever. In other words, normal HTML doesn't work. Geez.
So I'm back to my nice elegantly simple layout. I think I will do the labels thing manually for now till Blogger comes up with something else. (It's strange why they would support labels, but give no option to add it in your template though. *shrugs*)
Okie. Enough of geek talk. Haha.
Meanwhile my both arms are aching madly these days. It's amazing counting the fact that I haven't been exercising much, haven't been carrying heavy things, haven't been doing much housework (oops!). But both have ached excessively these days, to the point whereby changing clothes is actually a chore and I wince everytime I gotta bathe/change.
Even the powerful Yoko-Yoko doesn't help.
Very ridiculous right! The only reason I came up with for my aching arms is that I have been sleeping with my arms over my head too much. Even then, this has never happened before. So I also don't understand what's going on. My poor poor arms.
And just now I discovered an extreme painful area on my head. Like, so weird. It doesn't hurt when you don't touch it, but it hurts like hell if I just gently press on it. So far I am assuming that it's a pimple (on my scalp!! OMG) and I am hoping it will go away after a few days. If it doesn't, then I shall ask my dearest and mostest to mine through my hair and see what it is. Heh.
Oh and I thought of highlighting my hair some time this week. Hee.
Another thing. My good friend said she laugh until she nearly fell off the chair after reading my previous post. It's supposed to be sad leh. We are all mundane people and no hope already la. Haha.
However this is not the point. Suddenly I have a mad idea. Maybe I shall just forgo the marriage part and then just go aim for a kid straight. This also means, getting pregnant out of wedlock.
This is a rather ridiculous idea because the older generation will definitely frown upon a woman with a child but with no husband. However since I don't see myself getting married by 25, I might as well have a child when I am still young and healthy, my eggs are of good quality (I hope). Then I can also have a child with a closer age gap and then I wil have energy to run after her if she's too active. Heh.
Then to find a suitable man for this would-be child of mine, I will go and purposely find a man who has 1)sisters, 2)enjoys eating vegetables. This is so that the likelihood for me to conceive a girl will be higher (girls are always better, no matter what. Hah). Since the gender of the baby is dependent on the guy, so he must fulfil this criteria first. Then he must not be too hairy (later my girl too hairy how!) yet he must not be balding (obviously should not be balding at 25 la!). Best is if he has double eyelids (did I mention I love guys with double eyelids?) and he has long pretty lashes and non-slitty eyes. He must also be tall as well!!
Oh, and best if he has good skin complexion also!! Then my girl will inherit a pretty good complexion.
Where to find this kind of man ah? LoL!!
Actually ah, if can I would have given birth at 25. I am sick of menstrual cramps. Really.
But it's kinda selfish, coming from someone who admits that she has zero maternal instincts. Babies are still very alien to me at this point, even though I enjoy playing with strangers' babies very very much. Maybe I just cannot handle them crying at me. Hee.
Time to sleep. Haha. I must be delirious from typing such a ridiculous post and staring at blogger's template editor.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 2:23 AM
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Have you ever wondered how sometimes even the best of plans can fall apart? Labels: marriage, relationships
I recently had this revelation because I was wondering about many things, my relationship, family, studies...
I realised that a lot of my thoughts focused on relationship. Especially my relationship with the boyfriend, whom I had been with for the last 3 years.
3 years isn't a long time, but it cannot be considered short. To many people, 3 years would have been enough to decide whether one can get married, plans for a marriage...things like that.
To me, 3 years is all but frustrations, disappointments, heartbreaks, all together at a go.
To be fair, everything wasn't that BAD. We have had our good times too, romance, hotel stays, travels, things like that. The good times were there, but bad times followed soon after.
When I started with the boyfriend, all I thought was, if I could get through 6 months together. At that time, I was counting every mon-niversary diligently and hoping that we could get through. It was because I didn't think we would last and this was a sort of test to see whether I can actually stay in a relationship. Haha.
And soon, 6 months became a quest for 1 year, and 1 year became 2 years...and suddenly we were celebrating our 3rd year together already.
I didn't know how the time flew past us without my knowledge, and the fact that I was approaching graduation put me on a grind to think of my future without school. My very first thought was since we didn't kill each other during our 3 years together, it would have been fit to see us getting married already.
And then everything came at one go, the frustration, tears, disappointments, and lastly the heartbreak. 2006 was a bad bad year if I may so say, even though I got to go Korea and enjoyed the travelling with him a lot.
Isn't it so ironical? To think my resolution for 2006 for that year was to be a better girlfriend without the silly tantrums to him, have better communication between us and most importantly, to reaffirm our relationship and bring it to a new level.
And bringing it to a new level we did, going down instead of going up. I guess I ought to be more specific if I want to make resolutions next time. Hur hur.
I realised in the past I was envious of couples who had long-term relationships (spanning more than 2 years) and I often wondered if I could last that long with anyone. However now that I am finally in a long-term relationship, I finally understood why people get married.
This is another ironical thing in life huh? I guess it's always nice to be married simply because you are in happily/desperately/hopelessly in love. And this sort of "in love" feeling, is always felt very rampantly in the first 2 years of the relationship. Because we have the "honeymoon" period, petty quarrels (which leads to great making-up sessions), and discovering things as a couple (even checking out a new shopping centre is fun) activities. And so, the next best step after doing all the above-mentioned, is to discover something new together: Getting married.
Besides having sex without fear of pregnancy (married, what!), there's another whole lot of things to discover, new house, living habits, coping with in-laws, and the likes. But it's okay. Just married, must still stay in the "honeymoon" status. Anyway, so to say there's a lot to keep you occupied for the next 2 years at least, because you will adapt to each other, learn to tolerate each other's habits, fight a lot (and still make up after that) and the like. How to get bored?
And eventually 2-3 years after the wedding will come babies, because it's a natural progression (if no babies, relatives will start asking anyway!). So come the babies, and for the rest of your life you will just have your kids to look after and be in wonder of them.
You know ah, this was the kind of perfect relationship I had in mind. Especially when I just started one.
Okay la, not so much, but somehow after 1 year (plus) I started wondering if life will be like that for me. Will I get married by my dream age (before 25)? Get a house when I am married? Will I be able to have kids by 27? And then a second one by 29? These were like, milestones I created, under the illusion that my relationship was still perfect.
Anyway, back to the long-term relationship thing. I said I finally understood why people got married is because, well, somehow after 2 years being together, expectations shift. At least on my part. Talk of the future should be a dominating subject, and in my opinion any responsible man should be thinking of that after being with his girlfriend for 2 years.
At any rate, there's nothing left for you to discover (how many Vivocities can Singapore have anyway?) and if there's anything to quarrel about, it's probably one of the last unfinished battles that you guys had (aka outstanding issues). And let's not even talk about the love.
So I am making it sound like 2 years is the maximum anyone should have in a relationship huh. Of course it is not. It's just by MY standards. It's a whole lot different if after 4 years the couple is still oh-so-in love and it just feels like that they just started pak-tor yesterday. That, I believe, can continue for all I care. But I still believe any responsible guy will want to think of the future with his girlfriend if they had been together for long.
My good friend and I were chatting one day, whether we will eventually get married or not. I told her, when a couple in a long-term relationship has got nothing else to do, they get married. And then when after the whole wedding thing is over (planning and executing), they get pregnant. And then for the rest of their life, they will have something to fret over. Wonderful.
My good friend wrinkled her nose at this. She said it's so mundane! Mundane reason for getting married. Mundane reason for having a kid. Then she said that both of us have no hope, since we are already on the fast road to mundane-ness. So sad.
Right now I kinda envy couples who just got together. Haha. At the very least they will get married when they are in the full bloom of love, which I believe is more romantic than ever.
I wonder when my full bloom of love will come, or has it wilted already?
Oh ya I do want to be married off one day. As much as my mom paints a very bleak picture of married life, I still wanna be married. LoL. The reason being because I want to have at least one kid, so that I can avoid having menstrual cramps for the rest of my life. Hehehehe.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 3:27 PM
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I just sneezed onto my mobile while typing an SMS. Not the 1st time already eh...luckily the damage ain't great. But still, irritated by the fact that I couldn't control myself in time. Labels: rants, relationships
Spent the weekend lazing about, borrowing 8 library books (they are giving away free air tix for every 8 books borrowed! Bo liao, I know.), fighting cactuses and wolves and hyenas on FFXII. Surviving on coconut bread and curry puffs while I'm at it too. Haha. This is bliss man.
I wish every weekend could be like that.
Minus the little irritations and insecurities and unpleasant feelings, though.
Can't wait to get my own pad, my own PS2 (or PS3 though I cannot afford it at the moment), my own PC complete with HD TV link so that I can record all my favourite shows plus my good old trusty Starhub Cable Ch. 55. Hahaha.
I think if I have all these, I no need to seek the world already. Will be very happy to stay indoors all day long and all night long and all week long. Haha.
Alas! Life always present itself in its most unpredictable manners. And these few weeks I have been presented with an unpredictable situation which I thought would never occur in a million years.
It requires me to reverse all my changes in mindset, my feelings and the works. Reverse I couldn't, but I have adopted a brand new feeling: Insecurity.
Like I haven't already got my hands full with all kinds of funny things happening these days. -_-
I can't deal with insecurity, because although I know what's the root cause but I do not, in anyway, think of how the root cause can do anything about it.
It's weird, because I realised I never once felt insecure before, and even with that whole calamity of events tumbling down at me I still felt like I am in control. I knew what I was dealing with, and I just dealt with it my way. And it worked fine.
I realised that I'm feeling less motivated these days, and it's not a good thing, should things happen the way it looks like it's going now. Gee. I am tired of being nice, being good, being considerate, being quiet, being politically correct, being diplomatic and being not me.
I also realised that I have zero maternal instincts, because the moment I am presented with a baby to carry I just freak out. Haha. I don't know how to handle a squirming and struggling 10 month old who stares at me like an alien and cry immediately when I touch him and onlookers saying that I scare him. :(
Actually, it feels like an initiation rite. I feel bad for scaring the baby too. :(
There goes my idea of getting a baby of my own in the near future. Haha.
But I do get excited looking at other people's kids. Haha. Like their features. I'm excited to see dimples on babies and double eyelids. I don't know why. lol. I am weird.
I think the only reason why I want to have my own baby is because I want to see whether she will inherit my double eyelids or not. I am quite proud of my double eyelids actually. And my lips. Heehee.
Though it is not thick like Angelina Jolie's, but I like it because it's quite nicely shaped.
I am being bo liao again.
Anyway. Gotta pack up!! Flying off this Thursday and there's not a single item in the lugguage yet. Haha.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 1:43 PM
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Sometimes I wonder why people become cynical over the years. And I realise it's because life's experiences that shape your thinking. I believe everyone started out innocent, naive, full of hope, and all things are rosy, you know, just being plain positive over everything. Labels: rants, relationships
Once, I was like that too. I was positive almost on everything (except when it comes to academic matters...ha ha), and I often believe in the best of people, that everyone is nice, and no one is purposely being not-nice. Haha.
Even when it comes to love life, I just wondered one day who would be that knight in shining armour coming to sweep me off my feet and then we will get married and live happily ever after.
Of course, I am so absolutely wrong. There's no knight in any kind of armour, and there's no such thing as sweeping me off my two little feet (last I checked, was still rooted to the ground). The only thing that's quite true (or come close to) is that people will get married. Not even that live happily ever after part. Ha ha
That looks kind of bleak isn't it? But that's the way life is I guess. Just like how people say that love can conquer everything, but it doesn't mean literally everything you know. There's why there are songs like "Sometimes, Love Just Ain't Enough". This kind of songs are written precisely because they hit the nail on the head!
I guess it has come to a point that I don't really know what to believe anymore. So much that I doubt everything I come across, or hear, especially when it comes from guys. Heh. I admit that I am a bit sexist here, but then again, I really don't know whether to trust or not, so I trust my own instincts. And since my own instincts causes me to doubt people, so I just go ahead and follow my own instincts then!
It's like once upon a time you believed in love, you believed that love conquers all, yada yada, all that bullshit stuffs, but then one fine day something comes along and proves you totally wrong, so you decided that from now onwards there's no need to revert back to believing in it, because obviously it's gonna be wrong, so why for waste anymore time? Which is why today the bestie told me about some stuffs, like how because you love someone, you accept everything in his life, from himself to his family, to his friends.
Hmm...I don't know whether I have such a big heart. But I know I am practical. So if anything comes along which I don't like it, I will voice it out. I am direct in this case. I will want my partner to do something about it. If he doesn't, I will just feel uncomfortable with it. I may even nag at him. This kind of girls, guys don't like. That's because guys have got their own egos to feed. They don't like it that they have to listen to their girls. Which is fine by me, if he knows what to do and when to draw the line. But if he doesn't I would feel a need to butt in. I cannot stand just watching from the sidelines and not doing anything. I am the kind that need to kaypoh my way through. This is the flaw in my character.
Of course you would expect that being in a relationship, it's best to maintain an open policy. However sometimes we just feel that it is necessary to tell a little white lie so that the other party will not feel so ill at ease. So what? When the white lie is finally made in the open and the other party learns about it, he/she will still feel ill at ease. This time it will be worse, because it also constitutes a mis-trust on each other's part. So how are you going to clear up the mess?
Heard of some case whereby the boy proposed to the girl, and the girl accepted. But after the whole proposal thing, boy realises that girl has a wild side and that even when they were together, the girl often stayed over at other guys' places. Boy feels so uncomfortable and so unable to accept it, girl feels that it's already in the past and she didn't wanted to tell him because she's scared he would worry. So how? Are they going to get married? Or not? When you start a marriage with a bundle of untold truths, it is going to be a long road to be happily and blissfully married.
Alright, so what's with the cynicism? I just feel that I can no longer trust as much as I did in the past. I am feeling kinda surprised by myself, because in the past I was this kind of person who believed in love and all that stuffs. Now, my certain reactions to certain events/scenarios have led me to feel like I don't believe in love (that much), and I don't believe that love can conquer all. And I think when it comes down to me, practicality and being level-headed are the qualities that will actually put me off from believing in love anymore.
You know, once bitten twice shy? For me I might have just sworn off this whole stuff about love. :)
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 1:09 AM
Haven't been blogging for quite some time, due to my "busy" schedule. Heh. Labels: relationships
Wanted to post the photos from Innovationation, but yet I haven't got round to uploading it.
My week was good, because I bought some new clothes (very cheap!! Thanks to warehouse sales. Haha)
And then I went to the Global Chinese Music Awards, and saw many stars. At a distance no less. :) Finally got to see SHE perform at last. I like them!! Especially Ella, with her crazy antics. Heh.
Hmm...what else is there?
Saturday's Life edition is something which I enjoyed reading. I liked it because they were featuring all the stars' homes and their decor tips. Makes me wonder if I would ever have that chance to finally get my 1-room condo (or to put it in correct terms, studio apartment). So Jean Danker's home gave me a lot of inspiration. She's only 27!! Not to mention highly successful at that. I hope I can be earning enough to pay for a condo like her's by the time I am 27 too. Heehee.
Anyway there was this article on commitment sent in by a reader. It is a reply to a column by a Straits Times' writer, about how he cannot commit. It strikes a chord in me. Anyway the article is about how there are three basic types of personalities in relationship, namely the Secure Lover, the Avoident Lover and the Anxious-ambivalent Lover. Okay this is from the Hazan-Shaver theory of attachment.
Secure Lovers are people who are confortable sharing personal space and letting down their guard to people whom they want to share their lives with.
Avoidant Lovers are people who find it hard to be close to others and hardly allow themselves to depend on others.
Anxious-ambivalent Lovers are people who find their potential lovers not as deeply involved as they are in a relationship, and worry about losing their partners and doubting the strength of their lover's affection.
And so the article goes like how we should discover ourselves what kind of personality we have before we actually fall in love. And that avoidant lovers should never be someone who is anxious-ambivalent.
And if we know ourselves well enough, we would be able to find someone who actually shares the same personality as us and thus be able to go into a relationship.
Hmm...upon reading this I realised that I can relate quite easily to this. Currently I am the anxious-ambivalent lover. I was a secure lover before, and somehow things just changed. And now I find myself evolving into an avoidant lover.
Maybe being an avoidant lover is the best way to avoid getting hurt I suppose. :)
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 1:14 PM
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