I just sneezed onto my mobile while typing an SMS. Not the 1st time already eh...luckily the damage ain't great. But still, irritated by the fact that I couldn't control myself in time. Labels: rants, relationships
Spent the weekend lazing about, borrowing 8 library books (they are giving away free air tix for every 8 books borrowed! Bo liao, I know.), fighting cactuses and wolves and hyenas on FFXII. Surviving on coconut bread and curry puffs while I'm at it too. Haha. This is bliss man.
I wish every weekend could be like that.
Minus the little irritations and insecurities and unpleasant feelings, though.
Can't wait to get my own pad, my own PS2 (or PS3 though I cannot afford it at the moment), my own PC complete with HD TV link so that I can record all my favourite shows plus my good old trusty Starhub Cable Ch. 55. Hahaha.
I think if I have all these, I no need to seek the world already. Will be very happy to stay indoors all day long and all night long and all week long. Haha.
Alas! Life always present itself in its most unpredictable manners. And these few weeks I have been presented with an unpredictable situation which I thought would never occur in a million years.
It requires me to reverse all my changes in mindset, my feelings and the works. Reverse I couldn't, but I have adopted a brand new feeling: Insecurity.
Like I haven't already got my hands full with all kinds of funny things happening these days. -_-
I can't deal with insecurity, because although I know what's the root cause but I do not, in anyway, think of how the root cause can do anything about it.
It's weird, because I realised I never once felt insecure before, and even with that whole calamity of events tumbling down at me I still felt like I am in control. I knew what I was dealing with, and I just dealt with it my way. And it worked fine.
I realised that I'm feeling less motivated these days, and it's not a good thing, should things happen the way it looks like it's going now. Gee. I am tired of being nice, being good, being considerate, being quiet, being politically correct, being diplomatic and being not me.
I also realised that I have zero maternal instincts, because the moment I am presented with a baby to carry I just freak out. Haha. I don't know how to handle a squirming and struggling 10 month old who stares at me like an alien and cry immediately when I touch him and onlookers saying that I scare him. :(
Actually, it feels like an initiation rite. I feel bad for scaring the baby too. :(
There goes my idea of getting a baby of my own in the near future. Haha.
But I do get excited looking at other people's kids. Haha. Like their features. I'm excited to see dimples on babies and double eyelids. I don't know why. lol. I am weird.
I think the only reason why I want to have my own baby is because I want to see whether she will inherit my double eyelids or not. I am quite proud of my double eyelids actually. And my lips. Heehee.
Though it is not thick like Angelina Jolie's, but I like it because it's quite nicely shaped.
I am being bo liao again.
Anyway. Gotta pack up!! Flying off this Thursday and there's not a single item in the lugguage yet. Haha.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 1:43 PM
