I'm feeling miserable.
I have to plan my timetable and do my FYP today.
BUT. I only managed to plan timetable and now I totally dun feel like doing FYP.
BUT. Tomorrow going Genting le so today dun do then I won't be doing it for the rest of the week. And that = 2 weeks of not doing FYP which will make me feel horrendous when I come back.
BUT. Why I still feel so slack I also dunno.
BUT. I just cannot concentrate on my FYP.
this. sucks.
Arrrrgggghhhh.
Okie. Maybe I should take a rest from the comp first and then attempt to fight the demons in the mean time. Hahaha.
On a happier note. I went for double date on Thursday! I think it's the first time qy and me went out on double date together. haha. It turned out pretty well! She and her bf wanted to go JB and since clement and I were already going JB, we all might as well go together.
In the end I think it was very enjoyable! heehee~ so happie eh...the 4 of us are on the same wavelength, so very easy to crap and all that. haha.
On a next happier note. Me and clement went to watch this:
I think I ever tagged Fiona's blog about believing in Love. And then I subsequently saw a post on "What is Love?" Ah...so maybe today I should dissect this 4-letter word today that has caused so many joys and sadness to so many people out there. Heehee.
Oh. I wanted to say that my tag at that time was due to the very sappy Korean drama that I happened to be watching at that time. Namely, 大长今. I watch until so 感动 that I cry and cry. Buay tahan!! Haha. Okie so probably that's why I thought that true love existed.
Anyway so I was thinking about this issue in bed last night, and I thought of what constitutes to true love eh? My mommy has her very wayward thinkings of love...she feels that love is:
and some other stuffs I forgotten. All these are what my daddy did for her during their courtship days. Hahaha. When I look at my dad I cannot imagine leh!!! :p
I once stumbled on my daddy's birthday card which my mommy gave to him. So sweet wor! I think that was after my dad just proposed bah...so she addressed him as "my future husband, [insert name here]" and ended it with "your future wife, [insert name here]". I teased my mom for many days after that. wahahaha~~~
Okie lar, so now they are married, and it's been 25 years already.
Sometimes I wonder if I would ever find the right guy to get married to. I'm sure falling in love is easy what...but sustaining that love is difficult. No one can deny, sometimes the love just fades after a while, it takes other things to keep the relationship going. As to what are the other things that can keep the relationship going? There's no sure-method for this. It takes the couple to know each other to know what is the "thing" for them.
I once saw this poster of "The ABCs of Marriage" in clement's bro and DS room. Hmm...but before can even get married, must find the "Love" first right? Find liao then can talk about marriage right? So I decided to come up with my 10 key points of my version of true love.
And I don't mean in good times. Bad times too. Especially bad times. That's the time where I need someone most. When I'm high, he can be high with me. When I fall, I would like him to hold me up. To remind me that even when everything is shitty, he will still be there to hold it up. Or at least, hold me up...
A guy who loves you will make a place for you in his room. It goes to show that he's willing to share and he wants to share with me. :) At least the place in his room will always remind him about me. :)
Yup...he must have faith in me. He must not doubt me. He must not doubt my ability. He can be my cheerleader, but he should never blow me down.
If he's willing to tell you everything, it goes to show that he trusts you.
I can't explain how much this means to me. Haha. Yes I'm a suckler for guys who can plan and who wants to plan with me. It shows that I am important enough in his life that he wants me to be part of it...even in the future.
He doesn't mind accompanying you to gatherings and actively gets to know them.
As in, tries to integrate me into his family? Or finding ways for me to know his family when he knows that there isn't many chances in the 1st place. (And that doesn't mean keep going to his house more often but his whole family just hides in their rooms)
On the back. And I learnt this from Hitch. Not too low, because it's too sleazy. Not too high, because it means you are friends. But in the middle, which says "I really adore you". Hehee.
I love this the most. I think this act is one of the greatest way to show that you love someone. :)
This is to tell me that he doesn't want me to worry. So he will always drop me an SMS to tell me where he is.
So much for my 10 key points. But if a guy can do all these 10 stuffs for me, I think I will be feeling so touched that I no need to doubt whether he is true love or not already! Haha. :P
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 9:22 PM
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After reading meow's post, I suddenly realised that Christmas is coming le!!! And I have no plans! LoL~ Initially was to go cruise de...but I think chances of going is getting slimmer by the day...no vacant rooms mah. And now I just realised that clement will be working on eve and the actual day thanks to his change of shifts...so a bit hard for us to meet.
But! I will be going Genting (despite the fact I have to reg my subjects) on Xmas! Hahaha. So happie deshou. My aunt's family and my family will be going...Clement's probably tagging along...so we shall go Genting and also pop into KL for a quick shopping spree. Heehee.
And I'm happy that I managed to compile my FYP report for my prof le. So, I guess now I am not so stress liao...haha. Oh before that I was stressing away like shit. So slack and stress and my brains were just stucked or something. Irritating! 
I forgot to mention that my specs broke during the cruise and I am spec-less now. 
The way my specs broke was so surreal...I was in the bathroom washing up in the morning, so when I wash my face I took off my specs...I felt something slipped off from it and then "piang!" I realised that the lens had already dropped from the specs already. I didn't expect the lens to drop lor...everything was okay when I put on my specs in the morning.
So I'm in dire need of a new pair of specs le. 
Me and clement went JB after my exams last month! We visited this Japanese restaurant that's very stylo...got Jap cartoon characters, yet it looks like those olden days kind of "ke zhan". So I took a few photos!!
Comes complete with the onion skins that can move on its own!
And they have some super fiery hot ramen. Too bad both of us had sore throats then so better not try lor. But we should be going back to try! LoL~~~
According to this test, I like extroverted guys.
And I like guys who look extroverted. Haha. So true eh! I think extroverted guys are probably more confident of themselves and that's why I will be more drawn towards them.
As for me, I'm half-half...so I am extroverted when I wanna be, introverted when I wanna be.
That's so true lar!!! =)
Sometimes I cannot tahan so I will talk to people. But if the whole world is milling around me and I am feeling okay with that, I don't bother to try to talk to people lor.
Just went for a cruise last weekend...I guess it did me good! I enjoyed myself and in a way I liked the escape...no need to worry about FYP (I'm worrying about it now), no phonecalls, SMS-es.
Best of all, I have time to think...especially staring into the horizons.
Oh, I had a chance to work on my tan! Although no one thinks I looked any darker leh...sad sad. But I see tan lines so I think I am darker already! Muahaha.
And this trip got Zoe Tay! Haha. Got 3 free tix...so in the end me, my sis and my dad went to watch her. And I think she's really very very pretty! And she has this sense of aura around her...maybe that's the star quality? Hmm...
And I'm quite impressed by the way she managed to carry the show...it's only she who's performing...no emcees whosoever. And after singing the 1st song, she started chatting....and I feel the way she talks to those aunties (there were so many during the show) makes her very endearing. No wonder so many of the old folks like her lar.
She came to the audience to chit-chat and shake hands, and sang a few songs. Got a little boy saw her so shy until keep crying sia...hahaha. And she's so crappy that she entertained us with all her jokes and her teochew and her cantonese.
Very impressed indeed!! Coz I think it's very frightening actually, to hold a show alone without knowing who the people in the audience are and what kind of audience they will be. If the audience is the keep quiet type, then really very sian liao! But she managed to "warm-up" the audience so that really made everything more enjoyable lar!
This trip I had the chance to use spa too! Me and my sis went into the steam room to experience it...but she more powerful than me sia...can stay so long inside. I stay for 5 mins and I couldn't breathe liao so went out. My aunt mentioned that can open the steam room let the steam out first then go in...lol~~ I think got a sensor in the toilet or something, because later one of the spa's people came over and closed the door. Haha. Oh well.
And hor, the showers are translucent! Can see so clearly your body shape and your clothes! Oh my goodness. Haha. Got one lady changing into her swimming costume or something...then I realised that can see her underwear so clearly (heng she also realised so never take off anymore...lol~) Actually I wanted to bathe there, but after seeing the whole cubicle so translucent, I too paiseh to bathe liao. In the end after I swim and tan and all that, I wrapped myself in a tower and dash back to my room to bathe. Hahaha.
To think I even brought along all my facial foams and clothes so that I can bathe there! Hahaha.
Photos later...when I'm feeling hardworking. Haha.
Been watching too much shows until I neglected my FYP. Die!! Feeling rather demoralised about the whole thing already....but still, life goes on, FYP still must be done, still must have results...
I will soldier on!!
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 1:43 PM
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I was reading this when I suddenly realised what has been missing for so long.
And I also understood why things that used to matter to me in the past, no longer does anymore. It is not because I have begun to accept it. It is just that, all these things simply do not matter anymore. Why it had matter so much to me in the past, I really don't know either.
Oh well, I feel that pang of wistfulness after reading it...and I guess, my brain went on a non-stop thinking mode again.
My previous post about my personality says that I'm idealistic. I think I really am. Gee. I like everything to be ideal, everything to be good....and smooth-sailing? I mean, let nature takes it course but somehow I hate waiting for nature to take its time that I want to grab nature's hand and pull it along.
That is what's with me now. I remembered in one of the past conversations I had with clement about wanting to save up together for our future. In the end nothing came out of it. I remembered discussing about getting a flat together. In the end nothing came out of it. Okie I sound like some woman desperate to get married or settle down, but I don't think I am very desperate.
I'm just being practical and idealistic, just being me.
And my practical thinking tells me if we don't start now we will never be able to afford a a flat. Or any future to talk about.
Oh well, but he wants to wait till I graduate first.
And my practical thinking limits me to dating a guy for a max of 3 years before moving on. Hahaha. And my idealistic case is to date for 5 years max before marrying.
So there I am, practical and idealistic and that is going to cost my relationship.
But I feel like I won't want to wait for nature to take its course. I scared it will be too late by then. Haha.
And so I tried to rush things forward...just to face strong resistance in the end.
Who am I kidding...why would he want a future with me right? I am still studying, still like a kid to him, still dependent on him, still very young. Why would he want to contemplate the future with me where he will have to provide everything right?
He could jolly well find some other girl near his age who is of age to get married with a career and enough money to share a house with him. That and more...give him babies, build a family. Right NOW.
All these I cannot give him. Because I'm too young, because I'm studying, because I have no contribution to the future he envisions.
I see saving together as a very good headstart to our future. He thinks otherwise. I think getting a flat early will save us a lot of trouble in the future. He thinks otherwise. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really rushing things. But I don't think so. If after a year there's still no sign of wanting to settle down, then what's the f-ing point of staying together? I also cannot understand myself.
1st year not possible, must get to know each other. 2nd year is probably a good time to think and plan, but its okay if nothing comes out, but planning together will be good eh? And 3rd year is hopefully, the time where plans become reality. And so the 3 year limit goes.
I realise that if a couple have a common goal in mind, 90% of the time they stay together.
A couple that plans together grows together.
A couple that grows together stays together.
Is it true or am I being too idealistic again eh?
Of the relationships I've seen broken up so far...I realised it still boils down to this.
He can commit, but isn't willing to share...so they broke up.
He can commit, willing to share...but fail to plan, so they broke up.
He can commit, willing to share, willing to plan, yet they still broke up.
The main reason is that they failed to grow together. And all these relationships are long-lasting ones...around 4 years +++?
See...somehow everything ended because as a couple they have different priorities for their own relationship. I guess mine are different from clement's too...if not I won't be typing all these now lor. Haha.
And why am I holding on? It's because I have faith in him. He told me he will try his best in our relationship. And once again I brought up all those above-mentioned matters. He said he's willing to look into it.
Oh but I think that was then. I dunno about him now. I think he has forgotten everything he said on that night.
Gee. Who am I kidding right? Nevermind. 3 years and nothing, I will move on.
This is a promise to myself. :)
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 7:22 PM
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Jesslyn's a bad bad girl because she's been very lazy. The Phlegmatic As a Friend So am I like that girls? Hahaha. =D Okie, so the sub-personality of me is Melancholy... I'm also The Introvert The Thinker The Pessimist. How similar sia. Ah well, I watch and think and very introverted and pessimistic. Hmmm...haha. The Melancholy's Emotions The Melancholy As a Friend I dunno about the 1st few points, but last point is really like me. Idealistic Jesslyn seeks ideal mate. Hahaha. How apt. Next time I can use it as an advertisement liao lor... =p Now about my weaknesses as a phlegmatic... The Phlegmatic's Emotions The Phlegmatic At Work Oh no...all these describes my current situation now...yikes. Enuff said. Haha. The Melancholy's Emotions Eh melancholy got a lot of weakness sia. So I have a lot of weaknesses bah. But then again it's not exactly true since I'm more phlegmatic and not so melancholy. But still some of the traits overlap lor.. Okie so I shall change to a better me bah. :) When I get my project business done. On a side note, I'm going cruise! Yayyyy. So happie because I didn't get to go last weekend. Now I can really get to work on that tan, feed myself silly with food onboard, read all those foreign mags I've been craving for, er...I dunno what else sia. Probably see Zoe Tay? LoL~ She's also going up the ship mah... And on another side note, clement going on day shift again! Yayyyy. Hahaha. So that means we can spend more time together and then I dun have to struggle to wake up early to meet him for breakfast lor. =D Hahaha. So crappy. But we still dunno what to do when he has off-days lor. I think we are turning into boring people liaos.... And now I shall stop ranting already...it's late! (Now is 2234 hrs) =D
It's the hols and I'm feeling lazy. Lethargic. Cannot move. Cannot wake up.
I think there must be some lazy worm in my tummy with trying to lull me back to sleep every day when I try to awake. Haha. Terrible deshou.
I wanted to do my auctions thing, but then I was too lazy to take photos. Haha. I think I might just give all my stuffs away instead...all clothes only mah...
I wanted to pack my stuffs but in the end I succeeded in shifting it around. -_- Although it looks neater but when I wanted to pack, I was supposed to throw things away, but somehow only a small percentage gets thrown and the rest is still sitting around.
Oh, and I still have clothes that I brought back from hall last year. It's still in the lugguage bag! Oh my goodness. Hahaha. I think it's going to have all sorts of yellowish thingy already. Sucks!!
I was supposed to do FYP today but I'm typing here right now lor...
And I'm feeling frustrated with the school because I'm supposed to register for subjects when I am in Genting. How to register like that?!
I don't understand how come all of the sudden this inter-sem holidays feels so darn short. In the past it felt longer leh...
And I am feeling so lazy that I was even lazy to go out. Was supposed to go shopping with clement yesterday...in the end lazy me made him come down all the way to my house and we spent the whole day lazing away at home.
Lazy lazy me...
But I did do my FYP yesterday lar, with some help from him. Hmm...I find that everytime I need help it always doesn't come from him...somehow he's just incapable of helping me lar. And somehow I am always lucky enough to have friends who know something about the things I needed help in...guess I'm lucky in that sense.
So I have always been rather independent on certain stuffs...but yesterday was rather ultimate...and luckily he was around. If not, I think confirm die le...my prof will be hating us forever lor...haha.
Oh well, I think sometimes it's nice to have someone you love who is able to help you and support you in the things you do isn't it? =)
And recently I did this personality test. Actually clement did it with me coz it was his course actually. Well this internet version for anyone who's interested lor. =) I am a Phlegmatic Melancholy. Hahaha. The other time I did with clement was also Melancholy Phlegmatic.
My Results:
Jesslyn,
Your personality is PhlegmaticMelancholy.
Your scores are below
Overall:
Melancholy:12
Phlegmatic:19
Sanguine:6
Choleric:3
Strengths:
Melancholy:8
Phlegmatic:9
Sanguine:2
Choleric:1
Weakneses:
Melancholy:4
Phlegmatic:10
Sanguine:4
Choleric:2
So my strength is being phlegmatic, my weakness is also because I'm phlegmatic. Hahaha. What a dilemma-ish answer.
As a phlegmatic, I'm The Introvert The Watcher The Pessimist. Hahaha. I agree with the 1st 2 but not really the last one. I'm only pessimistic when I think I'm in dire straits. Then at that point I sure think die liao. :)
And then the strengths of phlegmatic:
The Phlegmatic's Emotions
Low-key personality - true
Easygoing and relaxed - true
Calm, cool and collected - true
Patient well balanced - patient yes, well balanced, I dunno
Consistent life - not sure also
Quiet but witty - kinda...am I considered witty? lol~
Sympathetic and kind - I think I am
Keeps emotions hidden - Wasn't very good at this but getting better
Happily reconciled to life - don't understand what it means. lol~
All-purpose person - Yah I can fix computer do housework sew but not cook. hahaha.
Easy to get along with
Pleasant and enjoyable
Inoffensive
Good listener
Dry sense of humor
Enjoys watching people
Has many friends
Has compassion and concern
Deep and thoughtfully - Dunno myself too.
Analytical - Definitely am.
Serious and purposeful - Sometimes I'm serious only. haha. But of course I have a purpose. =)
Genius prone - Meaning I'm prone to some ingenuity? =p
Talented and creative - Dun think I have any talents anywhere...
Artistic or musical - Kinda musical but that was a long time ago
Philosophical and poetic - Definitely philosophical (yah I really think a lot)
appreciative of beauty - Er...does looking at pretty girls count? Wahaha~
Sensitive to others - Usually sensitive so I keep my emotions
Self-sacrificing - Maybe am...if I am desperate
Conscientious - This is a word I used to see in my report books in sec school every year...lol~
Idealistic - Yup very idealistic which may cause my downfall
Makes friends cautiously
Content to stay in background
Avoids causing attention
Faithful and devoted
Will listen to complaints
Can solve other's problems
Deep concern for other people
Moved to tears with compassion
Seeks ideal mate
Unenthusiastic - Sometimes. Or maybe laid-back is a better word
Fearful and worried - I'm more fearful than worried. My FYP is a good example.
Indecisive - Sometimes. Haha...the "anything" syndrome
Avoids responsibility - Quite true. I don't like to take too much responsibility
Quiet will of iron - clement says I'm very stubborn over certain things. Guess so bah...
Selfish - I hope I am not too extreme? Heh~
To shy and reticent - Rather shy towards people I dunno lor...
Too compromising - Quite true...that's why my FYP is like that now...
Self-righteous - Yah when I have some philosophies I tend to be like that. Haha...
Not goal oriented
Lacks self motivation
Hard to get moving
Resents being pushed
Lazy and careless
Discourages others
Would rather watch
Remembers the negatives - totally agreed
Moody and depressed - at times especially when that time of the month
Enjoys being hurt - probably kinda true to me
Has false humility - do I?
Off in another world - Yah lor dreaming away all the time
Low self-image - Lack of self confidence in other words?
Has selective hearing - Haha...hear only what I wanna hear
Self-centered - Selfish again?
Too introspective - Dwelling on the past...very ME
Guilt feelings - Not really since I haven't done anthing to feel guilty about. hehe
Persecution complex - I persecute myself or other people?
Tends to hypochondria - I dunno what is this
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 4:24 PM
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