Have you ever wondered how sometimes even the best of plans can fall apart? Labels: marriage, relationships
I recently had this revelation because I was wondering about many things, my relationship, family, studies...
I realised that a lot of my thoughts focused on relationship. Especially my relationship with the boyfriend, whom I had been with for the last 3 years.
3 years isn't a long time, but it cannot be considered short. To many people, 3 years would have been enough to decide whether one can get married, plans for a marriage...things like that.
To me, 3 years is all but frustrations, disappointments, heartbreaks, all together at a go.
To be fair, everything wasn't that BAD. We have had our good times too, romance, hotel stays, travels, things like that. The good times were there, but bad times followed soon after.
When I started with the boyfriend, all I thought was, if I could get through 6 months together. At that time, I was counting every mon-niversary diligently and hoping that we could get through. It was because I didn't think we would last and this was a sort of test to see whether I can actually stay in a relationship. Haha.
And soon, 6 months became a quest for 1 year, and 1 year became 2 years...and suddenly we were celebrating our 3rd year together already.
I didn't know how the time flew past us without my knowledge, and the fact that I was approaching graduation put me on a grind to think of my future without school. My very first thought was since we didn't kill each other during our 3 years together, it would have been fit to see us getting married already.
And then everything came at one go, the frustration, tears, disappointments, and lastly the heartbreak. 2006 was a bad bad year if I may so say, even though I got to go Korea and enjoyed the travelling with him a lot.
Isn't it so ironical? To think my resolution for 2006 for that year was to be a better girlfriend without the silly tantrums to him, have better communication between us and most importantly, to reaffirm our relationship and bring it to a new level.
And bringing it to a new level we did, going down instead of going up. I guess I ought to be more specific if I want to make resolutions next time. Hur hur.
I realised in the past I was envious of couples who had long-term relationships (spanning more than 2 years) and I often wondered if I could last that long with anyone. However now that I am finally in a long-term relationship, I finally understood why people get married.
This is another ironical thing in life huh? I guess it's always nice to be married simply because you are in happily/desperately/hopelessly in love. And this sort of "in love" feeling, is always felt very rampantly in the first 2 years of the relationship. Because we have the "honeymoon" period, petty quarrels (which leads to great making-up sessions), and discovering things as a couple (even checking out a new shopping centre is fun) activities. And so, the next best step after doing all the above-mentioned, is to discover something new together: Getting married.
Besides having sex without fear of pregnancy (married, what!), there's another whole lot of things to discover, new house, living habits, coping with in-laws, and the likes. But it's okay. Just married, must still stay in the "honeymoon" status. Anyway, so to say there's a lot to keep you occupied for the next 2 years at least, because you will adapt to each other, learn to tolerate each other's habits, fight a lot (and still make up after that) and the like. How to get bored?
And eventually 2-3 years after the wedding will come babies, because it's a natural progression (if no babies, relatives will start asking anyway!). So come the babies, and for the rest of your life you will just have your kids to look after and be in wonder of them.
You know ah, this was the kind of perfect relationship I had in mind. Especially when I just started one.
Okay la, not so much, but somehow after 1 year (plus) I started wondering if life will be like that for me. Will I get married by my dream age (before 25)? Get a house when I am married? Will I be able to have kids by 27? And then a second one by 29? These were like, milestones I created, under the illusion that my relationship was still perfect.
Anyway, back to the long-term relationship thing. I said I finally understood why people got married is because, well, somehow after 2 years being together, expectations shift. At least on my part. Talk of the future should be a dominating subject, and in my opinion any responsible man should be thinking of that after being with his girlfriend for 2 years.
At any rate, there's nothing left for you to discover (how many Vivocities can Singapore have anyway?) and if there's anything to quarrel about, it's probably one of the last unfinished battles that you guys had (aka outstanding issues). And let's not even talk about the love.
So I am making it sound like 2 years is the maximum anyone should have in a relationship huh. Of course it is not. It's just by MY standards. It's a whole lot different if after 4 years the couple is still oh-so-in love and it just feels like that they just started pak-tor yesterday. That, I believe, can continue for all I care. But I still believe any responsible guy will want to think of the future with his girlfriend if they had been together for long.
My good friend and I were chatting one day, whether we will eventually get married or not. I told her, when a couple in a long-term relationship has got nothing else to do, they get married. And then when after the whole wedding thing is over (planning and executing), they get pregnant. And then for the rest of their life, they will have something to fret over. Wonderful.
My good friend wrinkled her nose at this. She said it's so mundane! Mundane reason for getting married. Mundane reason for having a kid. Then she said that both of us have no hope, since we are already on the fast road to mundane-ness. So sad.
Right now I kinda envy couples who just got together. Haha. At the very least they will get married when they are in the full bloom of love, which I believe is more romantic than ever.
I wonder when my full bloom of love will come, or has it wilted already?
Oh ya I do want to be married off one day. As much as my mom paints a very bleak picture of married life, I still wanna be married. LoL. The reason being because I want to have at least one kid, so that I can avoid having menstrual cramps for the rest of my life. Hehehehe.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 3:27 PM
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I am slack I am slack I am slack. :(
But I am trying. I sent out resumes, and I just received my 1st rejection email. Oh well.
After that I kinda got scared to go online to check email because I don't feel ready to face yet another rejection email. Geez.
Hence the lack of updates and online presence.
But nevermind, it's not as if everyone has to love me, not as if every company must call me up for interview. If I'm not suitable (aka good enough), so be it. There's always another company mah.
Anyway. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I guess the earliest I can start work will be either March or April. That's if by then I managed to secure a job. We'll just see how it goes.
Okie so nothing much has been happening, my supposedly Taiwan photo-log is not done yet because the sister's been hogging the computer for the last few days, printing out her past year papers and making the printer jam and making ME fix that printer. Poly students do not have it easy either, huh.
With 5 tests and 2 reports to finish, I guess it's my duty to be a supportive sister and help in anyway I can. Including fixing a jammed printer and sweating profusely because of it. -_-!!
Nevermind, I am gaining positive karma points for it. Haha.
However I feel irritated when my sis complains that the computer is going to spoil. You know, it feels like she's cursing the computer or something. Geez. I am sick of bringing it down to Sim Lim to get it fixed (have to beg a certain someone to drive me down), and I cannot understand why my computer so weak huh.
Why huh!!! I'm so irritated.
Other than that the recent happenings in my life includes cruising, swimming, muscle aches, and er...shares.
Went cruise last weekend. :) Then watched Gurmit Singh perform (he's so funny!) and then went swimming on the ship. I swam 90 laps okay. I don't know how many metres because I also don't know what is the length of the pool. My gues is it's about 10m in length so 90x10=900m
That's about a kilometre. Anyway after that I had horrendous muscle ache, which I made it worse by playing shooting games in the arcade. The gun was so heavy lah....haha.
We changed 50bucks worth of tokens and got a set of Star Cruise playing cards for free. Haha. :)
Oh! I also won 50 bucks on the jackpot machine in the casino. Tee-hee-hee. The machine is so cute leh...it's actually called Rich Little Piggies, and because it's pigs, of course I must play ma!! :)
My lucky machine man. Haha. Anyway could have won more, but oh well, greed got over me and I lost some of my winnings.
Nevermind la, at least win a bit better than never win right. I am easily contented ma.
Hmm...and now the highlight of the day is staring at shares. I ain't no expert, but nevertheless, it's a good time to learn more. :)
And I met up with my bestie too. Seems that she's gonna have long holidays thanks to CNY...so we are going sun-tanning and the works. Haha. I am so happy man.
Just to end...me and the picturesque background in Taiwan. :) I like the waterfall. But I cannot remember where this place is. Ha ha.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 1:54 AM
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Labels: Quiz/Personality, tickle tests
You're a Architect!
For you, the world is like one giant puzzle, just waiting to be solved. In your undying quest for the truth, you're best at finding solutions to complex problems. Lucky for all of us, though, you love to share your brilliant thoughts. Your keen analytical skills and understanding of others makes you a vital player in the think tank. You thrive on the collaborative problem-solving process, could trouble shoot for NASA, and won't rest until the questions are answered. The world could use a few more divas like you.
Who's like you:Madeline Albright (former U.S. Secretary of State)
Likely careers:Psychologist, lawyer, market researcher, military strategist, PR strategist
The Career Makeover
Brought to you by Tickle
So cheesy!! Alas, I'm no architect, but my likely careers are some of which I am really interested in. :)
***
Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.The way you think about things makes you a Linguistic Architect. This means you are brilliant when it comes to language and words. You are also very good at understanding things on an abstract level. You are at your best when you put those two skills together to communicate new ideas and see how they fit into different contexts. You understand math and science on a gut level, even if the equations and science don't come as easily. You can use these skills to be a great communicator or to create a masterpiece.
How did we determine that your thinking style is that of a Linguistic Architect? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Linguistic Architect. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.
Isn't this like, absolutely accurate? Haha. I am so amazed!! :) So not only I'm an architect, I'm a Linguistic Architect at that. Once again, this has proven my inept at math and science (both of which relates to engineering). Heh.
***
For richer? For poorer? It doesn't matter to you because you're the Hopeless Romantic. Whether your sweetie is an oil baron or a grease monkey, it's all about until death do us part. Even if you haven't met "the one," you'll judge your soul mate by the love letters, roses, and foot massages — not the size of their bankroll. And even if their wallet is as fat as their sonnet collection, the toughest part of your relationship will be arguing over which charity to choose, who loves whom more, and who's the bigger Schmoopie. And if that diamond ring turns brass, no biggie — your love is totally not-for-profit.
Wah. I never knew I'm like that. Haha. But it's true I like to be pampered by the above-bolded. Hee. However, I am still more practical than expected.
***
Jesslyn, your Relationship IQ is 127
This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Tickle's Relationship IQ test. Your Relationship IQ score is a number that measures your general knowledge of how people should behave in relationships. But we also took a look at how you behave in your relationships. Your test results tell us that your greatest relationship strength is communicating with your partner .
I agree!! :)
***
Jesslyn, your relationship destiny is to Have a Romantic Rendezvous
Wild thing, you make our hearts sing. Daring and headstrong, you know that the world is full of all kinds of adventures and possibilities, and you want to try as many of them as possible. Whether you've already met the action hero who's bold enough to join you on your travels, or are still looking for a soul brave enough, you're sure to enjoy the search.A risk taker by nature, you're not afraid to put yourself on the line, whether you're scaling mountains or falling in love on the first date. Sure, that means you'll get a few bumps and bruises along the way, but for a courageous spirit like you, that's part of the fun. How romantic!
Maybe that's why I like to think of being swept away by some prince charming these days. :) And, I believe in Love at First Sight. Hee.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 3:12 PM
I'm so tired. Labels: rants
I am starting to believe that job-hunting is also a full-time job okie. No joke. Time spent poring over newspapers, poring over job sites, and then editing and re-editing the resume till it looks okay...and then comes the cover letter to ensure it looks okay as well.
I cannot believe how tired I am just from doing this. I have been at it all day, mind you.
I've got an idea what I wanna pursue, but it ain't gonna be easy, precisely because it's a radical change from what I have been studying for that last 4 years. I don't deny that being an engineer will ensure higher pay, and in one of the leading companies. However all I have is passion, and since my passion overrules the money issue, so passion is the way to go. :)
I hope I can find something I really like!!!
***
I realised today how I have been treating someone for granted. Quite bad huh? So I say I want dinner, that someone turns up for dinner with me. I want supper, and supper it is too. I have always taken all these for granted until I realised that there are many others who can actually gush over such simple things.
What has happened to me leh? Geez. I used to gush also. But somehow along the way I got used to it and if supper or dinner doesn't materialise I get kinda grumpy and tantrumy.
I must learn to appreciate these little acts once again.
Now it's no longer dinner, or supper. It's cuppaucino!! Haha.
***
I bought 2 tops over the weekend, shirts in fact, in preparation for any interviews that might come my way. Pretty happy with my buys! It's all thanks to U2, G2000 and Fox having sales at the same time. Fox sales is madness!! 70% (approx) off for 3 items or more. But I gotta control because I cannot buy anymore Fox clothings. Haha.
My clothes cupboard is full of casual wear and very, very little officewear. This has gotta change.
Maybe I should invest in a suit too. :) Gonna check out G2000 this weekend again.
***
Sometimes I worry that I spend more than I save. Or in other words, now that I am not earning, I am so worried that my savings are going to disappear without any warning.
Control, is the order of the day. Cannot eat too expensive, cannot buy too many things. Hah.
Talking about buying stuffs, I end up with little or no space at home to stash them. Might as well not buy right.
***
Oh I bought like 3 bedsheet sets in a week. I am crazy, I know. Haha. I feel like an aunty, looking at bedsheets at the bedlinen department of Robinson's, and even more so, when grabbing good deals for bedsheets at John Little. It's the power of sales, I believe.
I got myself higher threadcount bedsheets this time, so I guess I can sleep with a smiling face at last. Haha.
Believe me, threadcount ought to be at least 280 per cm square. Anything less than that, wouldn't last for more than a year.
This time I smart, I got myself a 320 threadcount bedsheet. Tee-hee.
Anyway! I never knew bedsheets can be so expensive till I saw one which is like $700 bucks for a set. But of course, the threadcount is like 458 per cm square so maybe that's part of the reason.
You will be sleeping literally on gold if you get this set. Haha.
***
This post is incoherent and nonsensical but nevertheless, it's a post because I wanna rant. :)
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 6:48 PM
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Wah, I'm so late. Been out of touch with my blog...don't even feel like blogging much. Haha. Labels: rants
How was your first week of 2007 so far? :)
Mine was great! Except for the fact that I had been slacking away.
We watched fireworks of 2007 from a particular hill in the west. Haha. Far, far away from the crowds. And we chatted till 2AM, before I gotta get home.
I think it was the first ever time that we stayed out so late!!!
Hmm...and then met up with my good friend, went Settler's and KTV during her remaining days of freedom. ;) School's starting, so must the hard work too!! Maybe I'll see you when I pop over to school this sem. Heee.
I just finally unpacked from my Taiwan trip. Realised that I didn't buy much stuffs, just a bag and 2 pairs of shoes. Firstly, clotheswise, they were all long-sleeves. Which, in my opinion is not very suitable for myself because I have been steering away from long-sleeve tees. Secondly everything else is comparable to those you see in Bugis Street and all, price and product-wise. No point coming all the way here to buy stuffs that you can buy back in Sg right? Haha. Third, we were running out of money. Haha. How lame is that! Spent too much eating already...yup, I put on at least 2 kgs by the 2nd last day of the trip. Horrifying.
Food is the only thing worth buying because everything tastes so nice and so cheap!! Haha.
And it's very shiok when the temperatures are so low and you have something hot and piping. Haha. Cannot resist no matter what. :)
I have lots of pics but then I don't know where to upload it (Flickr's full!!) and I don't really like Blogger's photo uploads. Haha. So sad. I will post it soon, together with my Korea's stuffs. I so badly wanna do a photo-log but I'm so badly lazy as well. Oh my.
I have a long cumbersome list of things I wanna do.
Pack my study, throw away all my notes. (Finally!! Muahaha!)
Pack my bags/clothes, identify those I dun wanna wear, and pack it away.
Do my auctions, photos which, after taken, is no where to be found. Hopeless.
Read my novels, which I kiasuly bought during book sales but never found the time to read.
And finally but most importantly, get a job!
I hope by then it won't be like, March or something. Haha.
I desperately need a haircut, a tan and new specs.
I need to take some nice pictures of myself. Zi-lian pictures doesn't count.
I need to go shopping for clothes. But I need to clear some space in my cupboard first. i only have a tiny cupboard! They cannot hold anymore clothes!! Geez. That's why I have no mood to shop for clothes these days. Haiiiz.
Oh yes, I'm still busy killing bosses in FFXII. Haha. That's the only exciting thing in my life.
And I think I need to organise a meet with the girls soon. If not we will only next meet up when someone's getting married or something. Haha. :) So Ostrich ah, please let me know when in January you can make it okie? A weekend will be fine.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 2:08 PM
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