Yikes! I think I have gained a lot of weight recently, especially ever since I started working. It's on a steady growth...and it is super gross. I think in no time I will hit 60kg soon la... :( Labels: marriage, my life, relationships
Anyway, I plan to lose weight!!! I shall engage all forms of remedies known to man. That includes exercising I guess, if I have the mood. Hahaha. But for now I'm relying on green tea to increase my metabolism and cutting down on morning/afternoon snacks. Today, my Malay colleagues brought a lot of goodies from their Hari Raya!! Omg I ate a lot even though I claim to "pu zhua" (heatiness) and try to avoid all offers.
In the end I succumbed to 3 very cute butter cookies and a pineapple tart!
I've been wanting to blog for quite some time, but never really found the time for it. Like everytime I come across something, I will think that I am going to blog about it, but then after a while I forget already. So this will continue on until one fine day (like today) I'm home early and in front of the computer, and suddenly have a thought to write some gibberish down.
And so today we went out for lunch to treat a colleague whose last day of work is today. It suddenly then hit me that I have been with this company for more than a year, seen so many people come and go, but I'm still at the same place, haven't moved at all. Another colleague of mine also left last month, and I was quite sad because I really like him and respect the way he works, it's hard to find people who are responsible, swift-acting and nice to chit-chat with.
Indeed, sometimes colleagues are really just colleagues, it's better to draw the line there and not try to be friends, because as friends there are just too many things you gotta give and take. It's easier to be "mean" when they just remain as colleagues, if you know what I mean.
Work is depressing these days. I am also depressed. Oh, change that. I'm on sudden highs these days. Like 1 day I'm so inspired to work and I feel like I can put in more than the 100%, and then there are days whereby everything just seems to move so so slowly including my own pace of work. And then there are days I'm just physically there but not mentally prepared to face all the "nonsense" that is the daily output from "work".
Sometimes I thought of going back to study, like get a Master's or something. Thinking about it, it's quite tough because of the money issue. If I'm going to get married then probably need to save up for that. I'm still paying my uni debts as well, so it's going to take some time before I can even think about studying.
I'm still harbouring thoughts of changing industry if I get the chance!!
Nowadays, I'm spending more time with the boy, I guess it's because we work relatively near each other and meeting up is far more convenient. However, something is different. I cannot pinpoint it, but then, it feels that our relationship is no longer the same.
I did broach the idea of getting hitched earlier, like next year, and he was rather keen. But then again after weighing all the pros and cons, and the cons outweigh the pros, so the hitching idea was put on back burner. I think it is for the best, because in this current state and mentality of mine, I'm totally not ready in getting hitched.
I even suggested to him that we should just hold our wedding in a foodcourt...everyone can choose what they like to eat. Haha. Since wedding dinners are always overpriced, food not spectacular, so why not. And it's definitely within budget. Heh.
Anyway, just talk for fun. The wedding's not gonna materialise in the near future. So we have all the time in the world to plan for a budgetary wedding. Hahaha. Just like me, I like everything simple, short and sweet. Minus the sweet, still got simple and short. Aiya...good enough also. Hahaha. I am the "sweet" lor.
By the way, the Pinnacle@duxton is up for grabs!!! But oh dear, whoever buys the flat will really pay through their noses for the installment...monthly repayment for a 450k flat is no joke. It will really cost you 1-2k even on a 30 years loan. So it's gonna be tough man!!!
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 9:56 PM
Have you ever wondered how sometimes even the best of plans can fall apart? Labels: marriage, relationships
I recently had this revelation because I was wondering about many things, my relationship, family, studies...
I realised that a lot of my thoughts focused on relationship. Especially my relationship with the boyfriend, whom I had been with for the last 3 years.
3 years isn't a long time, but it cannot be considered short. To many people, 3 years would have been enough to decide whether one can get married, plans for a marriage...things like that.
To me, 3 years is all but frustrations, disappointments, heartbreaks, all together at a go.
To be fair, everything wasn't that BAD. We have had our good times too, romance, hotel stays, travels, things like that. The good times were there, but bad times followed soon after.
When I started with the boyfriend, all I thought was, if I could get through 6 months together. At that time, I was counting every mon-niversary diligently and hoping that we could get through. It was because I didn't think we would last and this was a sort of test to see whether I can actually stay in a relationship. Haha.
And soon, 6 months became a quest for 1 year, and 1 year became 2 years...and suddenly we were celebrating our 3rd year together already.
I didn't know how the time flew past us without my knowledge, and the fact that I was approaching graduation put me on a grind to think of my future without school. My very first thought was since we didn't kill each other during our 3 years together, it would have been fit to see us getting married already.
And then everything came at one go, the frustration, tears, disappointments, and lastly the heartbreak. 2006 was a bad bad year if I may so say, even though I got to go Korea and enjoyed the travelling with him a lot.
Isn't it so ironical? To think my resolution for 2006 for that year was to be a better girlfriend without the silly tantrums to him, have better communication between us and most importantly, to reaffirm our relationship and bring it to a new level.
And bringing it to a new level we did, going down instead of going up. I guess I ought to be more specific if I want to make resolutions next time. Hur hur.
I realised in the past I was envious of couples who had long-term relationships (spanning more than 2 years) and I often wondered if I could last that long with anyone. However now that I am finally in a long-term relationship, I finally understood why people get married.
This is another ironical thing in life huh? I guess it's always nice to be married simply because you are in happily/desperately/hopelessly in love. And this sort of "in love" feeling, is always felt very rampantly in the first 2 years of the relationship. Because we have the "honeymoon" period, petty quarrels (which leads to great making-up sessions), and discovering things as a couple (even checking out a new shopping centre is fun) activities. And so, the next best step after doing all the above-mentioned, is to discover something new together: Getting married.
Besides having sex without fear of pregnancy (married, what!), there's another whole lot of things to discover, new house, living habits, coping with in-laws, and the likes. But it's okay. Just married, must still stay in the "honeymoon" status. Anyway, so to say there's a lot to keep you occupied for the next 2 years at least, because you will adapt to each other, learn to tolerate each other's habits, fight a lot (and still make up after that) and the like. How to get bored?
And eventually 2-3 years after the wedding will come babies, because it's a natural progression (if no babies, relatives will start asking anyway!). So come the babies, and for the rest of your life you will just have your kids to look after and be in wonder of them.
You know ah, this was the kind of perfect relationship I had in mind. Especially when I just started one.
Okay la, not so much, but somehow after 1 year (plus) I started wondering if life will be like that for me. Will I get married by my dream age (before 25)? Get a house when I am married? Will I be able to have kids by 27? And then a second one by 29? These were like, milestones I created, under the illusion that my relationship was still perfect.
Anyway, back to the long-term relationship thing. I said I finally understood why people got married is because, well, somehow after 2 years being together, expectations shift. At least on my part. Talk of the future should be a dominating subject, and in my opinion any responsible man should be thinking of that after being with his girlfriend for 2 years.
At any rate, there's nothing left for you to discover (how many Vivocities can Singapore have anyway?) and if there's anything to quarrel about, it's probably one of the last unfinished battles that you guys had (aka outstanding issues). And let's not even talk about the love.
So I am making it sound like 2 years is the maximum anyone should have in a relationship huh. Of course it is not. It's just by MY standards. It's a whole lot different if after 4 years the couple is still oh-so-in love and it just feels like that they just started pak-tor yesterday. That, I believe, can continue for all I care. But I still believe any responsible guy will want to think of the future with his girlfriend if they had been together for long.
My good friend and I were chatting one day, whether we will eventually get married or not. I told her, when a couple in a long-term relationship has got nothing else to do, they get married. And then when after the whole wedding thing is over (planning and executing), they get pregnant. And then for the rest of their life, they will have something to fret over. Wonderful.
My good friend wrinkled her nose at this. She said it's so mundane! Mundane reason for getting married. Mundane reason for having a kid. Then she said that both of us have no hope, since we are already on the fast road to mundane-ness. So sad.
Right now I kinda envy couples who just got together. Haha. At the very least they will get married when they are in the full bloom of love, which I believe is more romantic than ever.
I wonder when my full bloom of love will come, or has it wilted already?
Oh ya I do want to be married off one day. As much as my mom paints a very bleak picture of married life, I still wanna be married. LoL. The reason being because I want to have at least one kid, so that I can avoid having menstrual cramps for the rest of my life. Hehehehe.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 3:27 PM
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