Wow, I realised that I really really haven't been logging in for a long long time. Labels: my life, relationships, weddingBeen busy busy!! Jet-setting to and from Europe isn't my cup of tea...add in cold winters, jet-lag, basically it's just a disaster in the making! Anyway I finally made back in 1 piece after that last biz trip in Jan 2010. And I hope I never have to make another trip for biz again. Can I just go on a nice holiday instead? :pThat aside, plenty has been happening! The wedding's set, the venue's set...and our pre-wedding shoot is set too! It's gonna be set (pun intended!) in the nostalgic little city of Ho Chih Min. One may wonder why...well, we decided not to go Hong Kong / Taiwan as everyone else we know is going there, but places like Melbourne, Paris and Greece is too expensive for us! And Vietnam was occupied for a while by the French...well, I hope we can gain a bit of the French feel here.I hope the shoot turns up good!!!We will be jetting off to Saigon (aka Ho Chih Min) on the 25th March 2010 and coming back on the 28th March. On SQ, no less! Thanks to my jet-setting-around-Europe stint, I have more miles than bucks. Haha! It's going to be 4D3N, 1D for the shoot, and basically rest of the time will be for us to explore around the city. I think it will be an eye-opening experience, after that trip to India in 2007. :)Pretty excited now! Gowns are confirmed, now I'm just troubling myself over the casual shoots. What should I wear? Tee-3 quarts? Little beach dress? Hmm...add that to my figure, or the lack of, I'm really at a loss! Sigh...serves me right for not resisting yummy food when they turn up. Haha...but hey, how can anyone resisit an Awfully Chocolate chocolate cake right? It's almost a sin not to eat it. Ok. I'm just consoling myself here. Here are some wedding details...Date: 7 November 2010, SundayVenue: Singapore Marriott HotelBridal Studio: The Aisle Bridal BoutiquePhotographer: Live!StudiosJiemeis aka Bridesmaids: All my JC babes!Er...that's all I can think of. Basically I think this is what we have booked so far...I must admit that we have been pretty slack with the wedding preps, because I have been jetting around and he has been slacking! Heehee! But nevermind, now I'm slowly getting into the planning mood. Hopefully we can do a small-short-sweet wedding...I'm not for grand banquets anyway. We'll see how!!Next to do......and many many other stuffs which I just don't want to think about now.Now I'm a sea of calm, because I still think I have plenty of time (based on Facebook countdown, I still have 240 days to go! Weee!) But there's always calm before the storm, I'll try to make it a mini storm in this case. Hehe.Could I be another bridezilla in the making...? We'll wait and see...
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 10:23 AM
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Yet another year has passed. Hahaha. I have neglected my blog to the ultimate. I'm guilty of it. However these days really no mood to blog. I feel unhappy about almost everything. I think I am having a mid-life crisis though I'm supposed to be "young". Haha. Maybe I will live up to the age of 40 only so that's why in my 20's I'm already having mid-life crisis?! Heh. Labels: my life
2009 comes with brand new hopes I guess, but it comes with 5 wedding dinners for this year. -_-
Discussing with the Gang about weddings yesterday, realised that keep going for wedding dinners are putting a strain in pockets! LoL~! My friend said that out of 10 already managed to push away 5. Still got to go for 5 which are at 5-star hotel. Ang pow at least a hundred bucks. Haha.
He's damn sad over this la... :P
Talking about it I better start my own wedding fund. Haha. As in wedding fund for ANG POWs. We are approaching the age whereby everyone is getting married...which means more ang pows, more dinners and er...more fats.
Anyway I have uploaded my pics in facebook, it's much faster than having to blog about it...I lost all interest in doing a photo-log because frankly, I cannot remember anything of what transpired.
I am wanting to go for a long holiday this year, but hey, I cannot choose, because I have a measly no. of days of leave only. :( So I gotta plan and use up the leave wisely. Heh. Anyway, it's worth going overseas this year because Air Tix are at all-time low. A ticket to London/Paris is only 1.2k!! That's super cheap if I may say. Much better than in the past whereby 1 air tix is around 2k without taxes. And forgot to mention, this is on SQ, which means you get shiok shiok Krisflyer to accompany you throughout the flight. LoL.
Well, I may be going Europe myself for business this year, still keeping my fingers crossed. If I do go, I shall go get myself an LV. Hahahahaha! To think in the past I always frowned upon LV, oh well...I realise certain LV stuff look actually quite nice la...
I have conquered Coach so maybe I shall conquer LV next. Haha. Then when I'm back I will be so bored of LV I will stop harbouring thoughts of buying anymore LV stuff. Hee.
Anyway it's really good to meet up with the Gang yesterday night, we had dinner at the 'tian tian huo guo' at Bugis, followed by Dessert at this Cheena-Looking place a few doors away. Nothing much to rave about steamboat, except that there were periodically mini cockroaches crawling out of the cooker, which I think could also be because they were driven out by the horrid heat of the fire.
But okay la, we cannot be bothered also, we just continue eating, and everytime a cockroach crawl out one of the guys will just press on it using a tissue and sweep it away. We still can continue eating nonchalantly. Haha! Amazing!!!
Anyway the steamboat is 16 nett, but they added 30 cents or towels. -_-! Talk about hidden costs!! Then I even asked for free drinks, which they obliged with 2 jugs. Not a lot but better than nothing. When we went for another jug we realised that it actually cost us 8 bucks. Aiyo. Should have just bargained for 4 jugs in the first place! Oh well!! But then also not bad la, the original price of the steamboat is already 18+, so to get at 16 bucks is considered a steal? I also dunno.
The nice part was the dessert!! Tried my friend's steam egg with coffee...really very nice. It's like a pudding with coffee taste. I like!! I had almond cream instead, because my throat was feeling sore from the tomyam so better eat something more soothing. Haha. But nevertheless I still woke up with sore throat today. No difference.
I realise that Bugis is actually quite happening at night! At 10+pm there were still people eating steamboat, milling around, looking for dessert (like us) and the coffeeshop was also full.
It almost makes me feel guilty for going home early. But cannot! I am nursing a bak jiam again, which has been there for the past week. Although it's not so bad, but I suspect it's the lack of sleep that caused me to have this bak jiam. Been treating it with my heat pack, because on the internet it says that putting a heat back on the bak jiam can increase blood circulation and get more white blood cells to attack it. I certainly hope so!!!
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 1:22 PM
It's quite funny, sometimes once in a while I will get a bit nostalgic and then think of all the past stuff that happened. The boy is right about me...I always like to remember the past and especially, the unpleasant unhappy past. Labels: dreams, my life, rants, relationships
This has been pretty difficult for him because he always have to bear the brunt of all my wonderful memory of unpleasantries. Best of all is that I tend to remind him, time and again. And especially whenI'm not happy with him I will definitely remind him. This is not healthy, but I have been trying to control so much already but still to no avail. It has decreased a lot but still, I tend to remind him time and again.
Sometimes I wonder why am I such a person. I feel like I'm this totally horrid person when I'm around him. Which sucks, because I don't want to be a horrible person. I want to have a nice, happy relationship, I want to feel happy about being together with him and I want to feel happy about our future together. However everytime I want to do that, something will always hold me back. Like I want to appreciate him for being so sweet, then the "evil" part of me will step in and say, "he should be doing that! He let you down so badly in the past". So on and so forth.
And sometimes I feel totally negative about getting hitched. Like why he didn't want to get hitched earlier. Why he want to wait until so old. Why he didn't spare more thought for my feelings when he said all those hurtful words. Why why why? I also have no idea.
Anyway I have been through all these with him many many times, I think he should be hurt until numbed or something. I feel like the "evil" part of me is doing her utmost best to hurt him back, just like the way how he hurt me in the past.
I'm this kind of dilemma-ish until I also cannot tahan myself. -_-!!
Being in a relationship should be bringing out the best in both of you right? However I feel like I'm at my very worst when I am with him. Grrrr. How ah. How to change that cynical part of me into non-cynical again?!
Even like this evening while I was on the bus home and I was feeling totally negative, like being in a relationship for so long then no point getting hitched, because everything is still the same right? Anyway I have always felt that an ideal time to settle down is after being bfgf for 3 years. I think 3 years is the magic time line la. Anything more than that is too long. Anything less is too short. So I have always held this 3 year deadline in high regard.
Anyway to make the long story short, the 3 year mark came and I was still stuck in the relationship with no result. Ask him, he also cannot give me any answer. That marked the most frustrating period and really down period of my life.
And he did that not once, but twice to me.
2nd time round I was almost ready to leave. Almost. If not for the fact that we got to attend a friend's wedding together, I would have probably left him there and then.
Anyway I always felt like being taken for a ride. Which makes it very frustrating.
Fast forward to 2008. We actually managed to successfully ballot for the house. Which is a good thing if we are happy in love. But we were not.
Or to say, I am not.
I don't know when I ever will be. Always felt like he's been taking his own sweet time in regards to matters like this. If I never go and "blow" him, he probably won't bother with anything at all. -_-!!!
And I always feel like what's keeping us together is just the house and nothing more. It's scary to think like that because now the house has become our focal point of staying together, rather than the fact that we are in love, we understand each other and we want to be together.
He doesn't understand why I am still so negative, in fact he feels like he has done a lot for me, for this relationship. But I think he doesn't know what I truly want. I want him to come to me on his own accord, to actually show that he did give some thought into everything. I feel like now I'm still the controller, doing stuff...hinting him on...guiding him on.
I'm so tired of it all. And sometimes I just wonder if it's okay if I just give it up. I don't wish to battle within myself anymore. That feeling sucks. And everytime I look at him I really don't know what to do. I have the angel and the devil fighting inside me. And I am irritated by the fights going on until I just want to ignore them.
I think the problem arose because we were both heading in different directions. I looked upon the relationship as a means to an end. He looked at the relationship not to have an end. Just a mean. Maybe in the first place we both had our problems but were oblivious to it.
I know he will be a good husband, because he's already a very good boyfriend. I just need to get over this mental block of mine. I don't know how am I going to because the devil inside me is stick-in-the-mud and refusing to let the angel reason.
And here I am, still fighting a huge fight within myself. Which he cannot understand. He probably just think that I'm the one who insist on dwelling on it (which is not), and he has already given up trying to fight that devil. But I need his help badly...if only he knew. :(
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 8:32 PM
Yikes! I think I have gained a lot of weight recently, especially ever since I started working. It's on a steady growth...and it is super gross. I think in no time I will hit 60kg soon la... :( Labels: marriage, my life, relationships
Anyway, I plan to lose weight!!! I shall engage all forms of remedies known to man. That includes exercising I guess, if I have the mood. Hahaha. But for now I'm relying on green tea to increase my metabolism and cutting down on morning/afternoon snacks. Today, my Malay colleagues brought a lot of goodies from their Hari Raya!! Omg I ate a lot even though I claim to "pu zhua" (heatiness) and try to avoid all offers.
In the end I succumbed to 3 very cute butter cookies and a pineapple tart!
I've been wanting to blog for quite some time, but never really found the time for it. Like everytime I come across something, I will think that I am going to blog about it, but then after a while I forget already. So this will continue on until one fine day (like today) I'm home early and in front of the computer, and suddenly have a thought to write some gibberish down.
And so today we went out for lunch to treat a colleague whose last day of work is today. It suddenly then hit me that I have been with this company for more than a year, seen so many people come and go, but I'm still at the same place, haven't moved at all. Another colleague of mine also left last month, and I was quite sad because I really like him and respect the way he works, it's hard to find people who are responsible, swift-acting and nice to chit-chat with.
Indeed, sometimes colleagues are really just colleagues, it's better to draw the line there and not try to be friends, because as friends there are just too many things you gotta give and take. It's easier to be "mean" when they just remain as colleagues, if you know what I mean.
Work is depressing these days. I am also depressed. Oh, change that. I'm on sudden highs these days. Like 1 day I'm so inspired to work and I feel like I can put in more than the 100%, and then there are days whereby everything just seems to move so so slowly including my own pace of work. And then there are days I'm just physically there but not mentally prepared to face all the "nonsense" that is the daily output from "work".
Sometimes I thought of going back to study, like get a Master's or something. Thinking about it, it's quite tough because of the money issue. If I'm going to get married then probably need to save up for that. I'm still paying my uni debts as well, so it's going to take some time before I can even think about studying.
I'm still harbouring thoughts of changing industry if I get the chance!!
Nowadays, I'm spending more time with the boy, I guess it's because we work relatively near each other and meeting up is far more convenient. However, something is different. I cannot pinpoint it, but then, it feels that our relationship is no longer the same.
I did broach the idea of getting hitched earlier, like next year, and he was rather keen. But then again after weighing all the pros and cons, and the cons outweigh the pros, so the hitching idea was put on back burner. I think it is for the best, because in this current state and mentality of mine, I'm totally not ready in getting hitched.
I even suggested to him that we should just hold our wedding in a foodcourt...everyone can choose what they like to eat. Haha. Since wedding dinners are always overpriced, food not spectacular, so why not. And it's definitely within budget. Heh.
Anyway, just talk for fun. The wedding's not gonna materialise in the near future. So we have all the time in the world to plan for a budgetary wedding. Hahaha. Just like me, I like everything simple, short and sweet. Minus the sweet, still got simple and short. Aiya...good enough also. Hahaha. I am the "sweet" lor.
By the way, the Pinnacle@duxton is up for grabs!!! But oh dear, whoever buys the flat will really pay through their noses for the installment...monthly repayment for a 450k flat is no joke. It will really cost you 1-2k even on a 30 years loan. So it's gonna be tough man!!!
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 9:56 PM
I know I haven't been blogging for a long time...no denials about that. Just that sometimes I think of what I want to blog, but when I reach home, all I can think of is to play my Sims 2. Haha. Talk about having no life. :P Labels: contemplatives, my life
Actually I'm quite contented with my current no life status, work, then go home play game! Then next day go back to work again. I really treasure the times I get to play game because although I surf a lot of net at work (shhh...) but there are still sites that are banned (like this blogger!) and I cannot read my favourite blogs anymore.
Strangely I'm more interested in other people's lives than my own. But then, I have no life! LoL. My life consists of controlling other people's life (aka my Sims 2).
I'm so happy because recently I went Hong Kong and then I bought an expansion pack to my Sims 2. So now I have 2 expansion packs, Nightlife and Open for Business!! Busy making my sims do business and go dating. Hahaha. How lame is that.
I'm hoping to get 1 more expansion pack (University!) because I want my Sims 2 study more and not grow old so much. My sis is going HKG this time round, so hopefully she can get it for me. Oh! It's much cheaper in HKG, these expansion packs, although they are made in Singapore. Strange isn't it??
On other matters, my highlight is...I got pay increment!! Yay!!! All that work had paid off. LoL. This year is a good year for my industry, so many people are getting promoted and getting a good increment. Mine is not too bad la...a little more than I would have expected. But I also worked hard for it, I should deserve it! LoL.
Office politics is a really strange thing which I cannot understand. Whereas there are some people whom you are not so gum with, but then against another person, when both of you dislike the same person, you will find yourself suddenly very gum with that person. It's quite childish, like last time in primary school whereas you will "friend" and "don't friend" people. Except that people's intentions are always hidden, you have to keep guessing what they are thinking.
Er, and people can be really really fake if they want to. Yikes. I guess it's really part and parcel of the job!!!
I should be popping down to Comex tomorrow...not to buy anything...but INK! I always like to go Comex buy ink because the discounts are good and they always like to throw in freebies like photo papers and the such. I like that a lot!!
Oh, and my recent craze about mineral makeup? I have like 3 different brands lying on my drawers, my 3rd stash is from Our Rock Minerals, and the owner is so sweet, I ordered like 7 samples at USD0.30 each and she still threw in another 2 more samples!! So it's total 9 samples for USD2.25, which is like SGD3.25. Jolly good!!
Anyway the exchange rate is now USD1.00 to SGD1.44, no good no good!!! In the past it's like, USD1.00 to SGD1.4!! And when I went USA early this year it was only SGD1.36! Arrrgh. TIme to curb my shopping a bit now...
Most people are guessing that the USD will rise rapidly after the Presidential elections, so I guess right now if don't buy more, next time the exchange rate will be back to the high times like USD1.7. Geez.
Learning to put mineral makeup is quite a challenge, so right now I still have quite a bit of makeup to use...I shall stop buying for now. In the mornings I still use the good old pressed foundation because it's faster. I'm a super fast makeup person...5 mins is all I take each morning to make up.
That's after the toning and moisturizing la.
Good thing is minerals are naturally occuring elements, so, it will not spoil even if kept for a long time, unless it's wet. That's because water breeds bacteria.
Lastly before I go...I want to share a good leadership phrase (I don't know what you call that) that I read somewhere this week while surfing net....
"A good leader is whereby when his subordinates makes a mistake, he will own the mistake. But when there is a success, the leader will let his subordinate own the success."
This is how a true leader should be.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 12:34 PM
I'm crazy about this lately, and I don't even know why.
Anyway I love my kabuki brushes...I have like, 2 of them and 1 more on the way. Fave brand is currently Everyday Minerals...I think they have really nice brushes and nice shades. I love the blush the most!!
Go check it out at www.everydayminerals.com
Free sample kit, just pay shipping (I think it's about 5 bucks?!) But I bought their personal custom kit so I've got myself a full sized foundation + loose powder and a lip scrub! I got a sample kit as well. Hehe.
Oh, and I just placed an order for another one...LA Minerals @ www.laminerals.com
Seems quite interesting, and I can't wait for my shipment to arrive!! Heh. When I get my phone I shall take pics and upload them. It's sample sizes of 2 blushes, 1 foundation and 1 oil absorbing mineral powder. And they pay shipping for you which is simply great. Haha.
Nowadays, a bit no mood to work, because partly I'm going Hong Kong! and also partly because I'm easily distracted.
I ought to be sleeping soon because it's almost midnight. And...I just got an email that states that my makeup just shipped! Hahaha....hopefully I get it before I fly off....then I can bring to Hong Kong as well! Yay... :)
Maybe I will get more mood to blog if I have any "happening" stuffs to blog about. Hee.
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 11:47 PM
has passed. Labels: my life
Aiyo, I still haven't unpacked my luggage after lugging it back from USA.
I cannot believe it, I actually flew for 24 hours!!! OMG OMG. 2 days of my life just flew passed without my knowledge. Haha...
My flight was like this, Houston-Moscow: 13 hours. Transit 1:15 hrs. Moscow - Singapore: 10 Hours. Total: 24 hours. LoL.
Actually if you don't go and count it you won't realise, because in air time just slowly passes by....but it's faster thanks to the AVOD (Audio-Video-On-Demand). I really like the entertainment system onboard SQ now, because everything is On-Demand!! Which means you can even pause, fast forward or rewind at your wimp and fancy. Heh. This is like, one of the best things I guess. :)
Anyway, in the end I bought 5 Coaches in all. Hahaha....went to Dillard's and finally found my dragonfly motif wristlet which I had been lemming for, so without any thought I just bought it! LoL~! This is the only non-factory outlet Coach thingy I bought. Hehehe.
I'm pretty excited because I'm going Hong Kong this month!! Haha...
This year feels like a jet-setting year...because I went BKK, then went US, then now I'm going Hong Kong. :)
Silly me always liked the thought of going US, flying long-haul flights...but after this 24hour flight, I think I really have got enough for now. Need a lot of stamina to be able to fly lor...and somemore I really disliked the cabin air, caused so many problems for my nose.
This post is pretty pointless because I already lost touch of blogging. Very duh right. I haven't got much of any "ling gan" lor. Basically I feel a need to rant about my work, but it's not the place to...who knows, it might come looking for me one day right? Hahaha.
More about US, I actually spent 1k shopping!!! I astound myself even. Hahaha. And I bought an extra luggage to bring back all my buys. Heh. And then the boy was saying I should buy back 2K worth of stuffs, considering that air tix + hotel is paid for.
Now, I feel a great need to go back and shop somemore, I still want to go Bed, Bath and Beyond, I want to go Bath and Body Works, I want to go to ALL the factory outlets...lol. I'm in trouble la.
But I have enough of Coach!! Hahaha. It's quite funny after all that craze and interest, because after the over exposure to them I decided it's just quite ordinary. I practically went into every single Coach boutique that I could find to look for my dragonfly motif. Hehehe. I think I bought enough Coach to last me a lifetime.
But now I have another interest...which is....LV!!!
And I have been discussing about it at great lengths with my colleagues. Hahaha. Basically, LV prices always go up, it's timeless, it is made of leather which is why it's so expensive, and then it's very worth it to buy lor. :)
I'm still itching to buy. Heh. But I am considering very hard because it's like 1K Plus!!! equivalent to my USA trip shopping!!! Heh.
Laters....... :)
Stunningly Gorgeous Y 11:05 PM
